Friday, April 30, 2010

Sorry. I just love this movie. This is probably my favorite 'joke' in the movie. I do generally laugh out loud when I see it.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Life. Does it get more difficult because the more we age the more problems we face? Or is it because we make it more difficult?
I took my blood pressure today at the gym. Pre-exercise was 98/65 with a heart-rate of 78. "Protein and salt is best to bring up your BP" that explains why I've been wanting meat lately. A lot of it. More than I should be eating. Tons of meat. Piles of it.
After workout was 121/85 with a heart-rate of 105 (about 1-2 minutes after finishing). Seems I should be okay. Just meat-i-fied. I think I'm going to go buy meat. Except I'm not. I'm going to cook tofu and garlic and pasta and onions...and be FAT. Alone and fat. Maybe try on an outfit for Saturday. Maybe just be fat.

Happy Showa Day!

HAPPY SHOWA DAY!! Where we celebrate...showa? The era in Japanese history? I think...but I have no idea. I just have off work and had naan for breakfast. That's all I know.

Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.
Mary Tyler Moore

haha, oh yeah!

Monday, April 19, 2010

When I have too much free time, I think too much.
That is very bad. Very very bad.
I don't like it.
I need even MORE hobbies. Or to not have a weekday off...Exercising for 4 hours doesn't seem like a good idea. It's either that or eat...Plying video games didn't seem to do it. Movies aren't interesting to me sucks. Effe me.

Friday, April 16, 2010

"You can't stop being who you are because of fear, right?"

Yeah, a good lesson for all.

For Krisbobes. The Robot Story...

Night fell, but you could hardly tell. The smoke that always filled the air effectively kept the differences between day and night hidden, but the clocks still worked. They chimed once at the start of the day, twice for midday, and three times for the start of the sleeping hours. Ever since the robots took over, the day – life - had been much more organized. The humans had to make some adjustments but nothing too bad. Now they were masks to make the air breathable and they wore suits to protect them from the atmosphere that they found so poisonous. They slept in barrack-like buildings. In order to maintain their usefulness, the humans worked the day away. The robots had produced the pill that kept them alive. It gave them the energy for the work. If they refused to work, the robots refused them the pill. Everything equal – work for food, food for work. Being lazy was no longer a human’s prerogative. The robots were nice enough. But, sometimes it’s difficult for Masters to always be nice to the servants. The humans had tried to revolt against the robots a few times. All times the robots had to put it down. They had tried to be gentle, but humans rarely understood such things. With humans, it was either their way or no way – and the humans seldom had one way that they wanted it. If the robots gave into one demand, there would be hundreds of others to give into. It was annoying and a waste of time. After the first attempted revolt, the robots learned the way to deal with the humans. Force was to be used, usually brute. The humans were merely flesh and blood, but the robots were metal and electricity. They clearly had the advantage, and they used it to destructive ends. If the humans saw reason, then the robots would not have had to resort to force. They didn’t, they never do. Humans live too much in the now, and don’t think about the future. The robots do though. They have a plan. The humans wouldn’t be able to see the worth of the plan so the robots don’t share it. It’s too long term for the humans. The humans live for what used to be 50 years and then expire, but the robots live on, generation after generation after generation. Long term to a human is a robot’s short term. There is a beauty to that that humans will never be able to comprehend. But, there is also something beautiful in enjoying things for a short while that robots will never be able to understand. Both are missing some form of beauty in their lives, but neither can see it.
The day started out like any other. The chime to start the day rung out, the humans stirred in their bunks. But something was different – the humans didn’t rise. They merely remained laying down as if asleep. The robots noticed this almost immediately. Late risers were watched. A voice over the intercom system gave them a warning. They would either rise or face the consequences. They did not rise. The robots knew that the humans were alive – their vitals were checked constantly. Perhaps this was another of their revolts. Hopefully this one would be taken care of without bloodshed. The robots gave the humans one minute to rise before actions were taken. The humans didn’t move. The robots sent a small electric current to wake the humans up and punish them. Not a single one moved although a few cried out in shock and pain. A stronger one was sent – a few humans died. A stronger one was sent, and then a stronger one. They still didn’t move except in pain. The number of dead slowly increased. The robots stopped sending the electricity. They didn’t want to kill their workers. The robots let them lay there. The humans became confused. The robots watched and waited. Slowly the humans who had lived got up and looked around at the others. They had thought they had won. They smiled behind their masks. They lazed the day away. It came time for sleep. Most had lost most of their energy and fell asleep with no problem. The next morning the chime rang out again. The humans did not rise; they had all died in the night.


I'm leaving the title typo 'cause it's a good one.

Today's workout was a fail. Saw HotGym, he was working out...practicing karate/fighting. He really is an awesome guy. Totally have no shot with him. Which I know, but it needs constant reminding.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I'm going to start posting more of my writing...1 page story go times!!

We broke up how many months ago? I honestly can’t remember. I barely remember that time. After we did, I went through hell. That’s all I can remember.
I went out drinking almost every night.
I met men who weren’t you.
I told myself they were better than you.
I got the numbers of a couple of the basketball players of the local team.
I didn’t do anything with them that I wouldn’t have done with you if you had said something.
I had been willing to do anything for you.
All you had to do was ask.
You asked for other things - the things that obviously didn’t matter. I agreed to all that you wanted. Lose weight? Ok. Wear makeup? Ok. Dress better? Ok. Speak more slowly? Ok. Don’t ask? Ok.
All I wanted – Don’t lie? No.
Granted, for months I had thought about breaking up with you, but I thought that I was just scared.
Scared of commitment.
Scared of ruining something because of fear.
Scared of being hurt.
Scared of pain.
You broke me. Did you know that? You broke me and now I’m not sure I can be fixed. Not that it’s a bad thing.
I got jewelry.
I got memories.
I got bruises.
I got experience.
Now I know what to look for – the dead eyes, the lack of attention, the fact that someone who is supposed to be going out with me doesn’t even remember the simple things about me. Did you ever listen to me?
Now I know what to expect – not much, the lateness, the inability to make time, the always being busy. Being busy going out with other people. I was yours, and you were everybody’s. Hardly fair, but we were young. You more so than I. You were a child. A brat, really. I was dumb. That’s your type, right? A person who’s too dumb to know what’s really going on. I should have known. The signs were there. The scratches on your back. The fact you never called back. The inattention. The late nights. The lack of money. The bad sex. The ill temper. The condom in your back pocket. Was it for me?
I’m glad we broke up. I think it was best for both of us.
I lay you down to rest, I pray the Gods your soul to rate. If you lie before I wake, I pray the Gods your balls to take.
You didn’t need me.
I don’t need you.
Life taught me a good lesson.
Did it you?
When will it, I wonder.
How many more lessons do we have to learn?
When do we become adults? Maybe next time we meet, I hope we’ll both have figured that one out.


For more, check out this handy link right here! Yes, that link should really work. If it doesn't...sorry.
I think something in me clicked back into place this weekend. Things happened (both which can be seen as good or bad depending on your point of view) and those things I think jolted my brain back to where it should be. A good long while ago something thing happened and that kinda broke me. I thought I fixed it, but it was like putting a band-aide over a seeping knife wound. Then, something else happened that made me feel as if the band-aide was working. But then I realized that I hadn’t fixed my problem, that in fact, it was a much worse problem than I thought and spent the next few months trying to figure myself out, trying many different things to ‘fix’ the problem. This weekend however, I think it finally got the sutures it needed to be okay. I actually feel much more relaxed than I have in months. I’m not sure if this will actually be the thing that makes it all better (well, as better as things can get) or not, but I do feel a lot better than I have in a good while.
Also, I wonder if just forgetting is a good enough defense mechanism. It’s a band-aide cure, but I wonder if it’s a good enough one. I think it has its time and place. I truly do.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Today I got to talk/joke with the students a bit. That put me in a good mood.
Went to the gym. Exercised for about 2 hours. It was good. Who would have thought that I'd get to the point where my warm-up is a 30 minute jog/run? I surely didn't! But, that was my warm-up today. Afterward, some weight training and walking for about 45 minutes. It was good. Good times indeed.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I awoke at about 5:56 this morning with a great fear in my heart. "Crap, I've got to go to work soon..." and then I remembered today is Saturday. I was at once happy, excited, and a little exasperated with myself. It's good that it's the weekend.

I'm writing this without a shirt on. I do believe this is the first time I've posted in such a fashion.

Also, dudes, seriously. Do it. It's worse to string them along.

Friday, April 9, 2010

I gymed for about 2 straight hours (that's all exercise time, not changing and showering and whatnot). It was great! I had a nice conversation with HotGym as well. That was nice. He really is a nice, interesting guy. I'm glad that I have this chance to get to know him. Now I'm drinking wine trying to figure out if I want to watch a movie or read a book or draw a picture....although I will be going to bed once this glass is finished.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The gym was amazing AGAIN! Why did I ever NOT want to go??
Saw Hot Gym. He complimented me on my "sugoi sheeppu appu" (amazing shape up) again. I appreciate it. I do. Time to shape up more!!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Emotionally, I feel like shit. I'm not sure why. I'm sure there's more than one reason, but I'm not sure of any of them.

Physically, I'm okay. Could be loads better, but could be loads worse. matter.

That's the update of the week. Enjoy!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

haha, got almost to the front doors of the gym and then turned around and left. What can I say - today is just not a day for gyming. Period started. I didn't want to bleed all over my gym clothes at an inopportune time (which would be anytime). Also, the period is about 6 days early. That's weird...

Another haha, on the second day of my new eating regime and already I feel like cheating. I have that all or nothing kind of self-discipline kind of gal. It kinda sucks...but what you gonna do. Either I overeat something, or never eat it at all.

On a side note, kinda want to try Valium. Who here has? How was it? Just came up in a movie I'm watching. Seems like it could be a good thing to try once...

Saturday, April 3, 2010 it bad that I organize my entire day around the gym? Like when I wake up to be able to get to class, when I eat so I don't have to worry about the gym, and whatnot. That may be rather pathetic. I can't decide yet.

What is pathetic is that I'm watching The Cheetah Girls Movie 3 for the second time tonight...that's all kind of wrong. All kinds.

Today's fighting was so A•MAZE•ING. It was so great!!

On a side note, I gained almost 2 kilos BUT lost almost 2 kilos of fat. It's better than I had thought when I first learned that I had gained weight. Yeah!
I believe in Karma.
What you give, you get.
Do you?
Is there such a thing as being too hot?

A friend of mine brought this to my attention. She proposed that it is possible to be too hot, and thus discouraging to the opposite sex. But, is it true? Can a person be too hot to go out with, but not too hot to get catcalled? If so, where is that line?
Dude, I didn't even drink and I already am starting to feel the guilt. Well, I did have a glass of wine, but was amazingly sober the entire time. But, it is 2.30 in the morning. What was that was said: Nothing good happens after 1 AM. Perhaps that is true.

I went to a friends house to make gyoza. It was good. We had udon, gyoza, and rice. There were strawberries for dessert. Those were AMAZING! We also made cheese.

Nothing to feel guilty over other than overeating...perhaps that is it. Calorie guilt.