I think something in me clicked back into place this weekend. Things happened (both which can be seen as good or bad depending on your point of view) and those things I think jolted my brain back to where it should be. A good long while ago something thing happened and that kinda broke me. I thought I fixed it, but it was like putting a band-aide over a seeping knife wound. Then, something else happened that made me feel as if the band-aide was working. But then I realized that I hadn’t fixed my problem, that in fact, it was a much worse problem than I thought and spent the next few months trying to figure myself out, trying many different things to ‘fix’ the problem. This weekend however, I think it finally got the sutures it needed to be okay. I actually feel much more relaxed than I have in months. I’m not sure if this will actually be the thing that makes it all better (well, as better as things can get) or not, but I do feel a lot better than I have in a good while.
Also, I wonder if just forgetting is a good enough defense mechanism. It’s a band-aide cure, but I wonder if it’s a good enough one. I think it has its time and place. I truly do.