Tuesday, December 23, 2008


So, I called this guy, the guy from the club (see 2008.12.19), who I want to date on Sunday, I think, and asked him if he were DJing anywhere in the near future. He was. On Monday; a day away (Tuesday is the Emperor’s birthday, so it’s a national holiday, so it’s good timing…which is why they had it). So, I had basically decided that I was going to go then, but I wasn’t 100% sure since I chicken out of things easily when they are social situations. I asked one of my friends to go, and she agreed (luckily for me, since I might have chickened out at that point if she hadn’t). Anyway, the next day, I called him saying that I would be coming and bringing a friend. We got ready, he called and said something about giving my name at the door. My friend and I left and took a taxi to get there after the subway since neither of us actually knew where they place was. The party started at 9, we got there at 10, and people started to come at 11. HOWEVER, before we entered the club, my friend got accosted by a couple of drunk business men. In retrospect it was rather funny, but at the time it wasn’t so funny…except for the fact that it was. So, here’s the story about that:
Both of us are in short skirts (mine’s a dress, but that is neither here nor there, and these are relative statements since a skirt is short for me if it comes above the knee), which is pretty normal for Japan, and lower cut tops (for Japan, low-cut). I’m in really gay boots, and my friend is in cute heels. So, I call the guy to let him know that we are there and just as I start to ring him up the business man spots me and lets out the Japanese version of “oh, hey.” I see him and wave (I’ve gotten used to being a freak show on legs so I wave when people stare/point/yell). Then he spots my friend. At this point they are really loud and he has answered his phone so I turn around and walk away a little bit so I can talk. About 10-15 seconds later I hear a man yell my name. I turn around ‘cause that is what you do when someone says your name (this is point 2 of being a foreigner in Japan; take notes: 1 is wave, 2 turn around when they scream your name, and 3 is wear funny hats, we’ll get to 4 later). I then see something which would be frightening in America or almost any other country which is not Japan: my friend pinned to the wall with a drunk man on top of her. I think there was another one somewhere in this equation but I think it’s only fair to tell you that I drunk almost an entire bottle of Bailey’s before this (for courage, you see) so the memories are a little hazy from drink, fear, nerves, being cold, and the unexpectedness of the sight…that and it’s now Friday and I’m writing this at work because I have no actual work to do and I can confuse them with long passages in English and say it has something to do with work. I’d be more than willing to check papers and grade tests, but even the other teachers have nothing to do. Anyway, back to the story. So, friend pinned to a wall by drunk business man/men is what greets me. At least one knows my name. The first thought I will admit was ‘why did she tell them my name?,’ then I saw my friends face and realized that it was a plead for help. So, I go prancing over to her to rescue her. It mostly works and we are free for about 5 seconds when this OTHER drunk business guy comes running over holding a strawberry in the air like a high school kid holds the acceptance letter to their university of choice. His face was just about as excited as that kid’s would be too, mind. He comes up to us with the original drunk business man and says “STRAWBERRY!!” and my friend says “yes, yes, ichigo.” Then the man does the unthinkable. I fear for every strawberries life when I think back to this. I must cringe in fear and cry a little inside. I like strawberries, I do. But this man proceeded to put the strawberry on his crotch like a little mini-penis (or perhaps not so mini…), and then laugh. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he then tries to shove it in my friend’s mouth. She obviously doesn’t want it. He starts to shake his head no, and then shoves the strawberry, stem and all, into his mouth and eats it. Both of us are kinda creeped out at this point, but, luckily, it’s also the time they start to make their exit. She says ‘bye,’ and then the original drunk business man turns and says, “No. Come.” I am still on the phone with the guy trying to talk to him, and save my friend. It’s not working, but somehow we get away from the business men and I finish talking to the guy. I’m not 100% sure how that happened, but it did.
So, we get free and I go up to the ticket stand guy and see that TAKU TAKAHASHI is going to be there. I almost piss myself with excitement. He is literally half of my favorite (or at least one of) groups in Japanese music. I’m excited and really don’t mind so much paying the ¥3,000 entrance fee.
We enter, and get a locker for our jackets and bags. No one is there except for about 3 people, and luckily 2 of them weren’t us. We sit around, I eventually ask the bar tender if she’s seen the guy, she says she hasn’t, we sit around some more, he comes in, I introduce my friend, we sit around some more, we eventually notice that he is DJing so we go dance. More people come in, ☆TAKU TAKAHASHI takes the stage and we dance for a little, then we go sit for a little until she tells me to go talk to him, I do after about a minute. We spend a lot of the night kinda just standing and occasionally talking. I’m really retarded at this crap. I meet some of his friends. I get a couple of drinks in me and ask if he wants to dance a little, so we do. I got into a really weird dance off with one of his friends. I think the point was to just move and shake like you’re having a seizure. I think I won that first round. My prize was a hug from the guy I had a mini-dance-off with. Maybe I lost. Who knows? A lot of the night was spent standing, a little bit talking, and a little dancing.
TAKU stops and then some other guy starts to DJ, and then, once that guy is done, the guy I like starts to DJ again. I dance for that. Some guy starts to jump with me and the other guy watching the DJ spin. A little while after that I get into another dance-off with the guy from before. I think I win again, this time I get a kiss on the cheek. Perhaps I lost. Again, who knows? My friend left some time during all this. I can’t remember who was DJing and whatnot. She didn’t have a good time though. I think most of the people in the club already know each other, so it’s hard to be the new guy. I had an in and it was still kinda awkward at parts. Although one of his friends did ask me if I liked him, and I, being the retard (see later for exemplary proof) say ‘he’s really cool, isn’t he,’ which isn’t as retarded as it could have been. I think most of this happened during TAKU’s DJing. I can’t be sure ‘cause he wasn’t the main point of this adventure.
The guy I like stops DJing and we kinda stand/sit around and kinda talk for a little while longer. He continually says how tired he is (remember this fact for a little later please. This doesn’t have to go into the notes on being foreign, but it is important to take a mental note of this). So, we sit.
The club eventually closes, and this poor guy on the bench next to the one I was sitting on is having a bad night. He pukes. His friends get a bag and some toilet paper, I get some water. The guy who just threw up actually cleans it up, which wouldn’t really happen in America, at least not with the people I know. I stay around to make sure he’s all right since I’ve been there before and know how he feels, not to mention it gives me more chances to talk to the guy I like, or at least look at him like a creepy guy…’cause I am a creepy guy.
I get my jacket and my bag. Then, this is where the part I asked you to make a mental note of comes into play, he asks, “Do you want to take me home?” I seriously must have deer-in-the-headlights look. Many things run through my head, in this order (not really in the order they came…it happened to quickly to remember):
1) I thought you only had sex with girlfriends
2) I think my period is about to start
3) I thought you said you were tired
4) Am I really ready to have sex with you
5) I have to meet my students tomorrow…today
6) I thought you said you had plans

I panic. Instead of saying the obvious and truthful thing of “Yes, but maybe not for that today,” I say the first thing that comes to mind which is: “…but I have to meet two of my students to go to the zoo and/or the aquarium” in Japanese. He says what, and I repeat. God, I’m such an ass. It’s really funny though. Even I laugh when I think back on it. It’s been long enough where I can laugh and not feel the pain of being retarded…as strongly. Then he calls me strong. I say no, that I’m the opposite of that.
Then I leave. He walks me out. Now, this would be a good chance to make up for the past mistake and at least give him a kiss good-bye or something like that, but no, I ask how he’s getting home, he says he’s gonna have some breakfast with his friends, and I say okay and ask him to tell me next time he’s going to DJ and that he should call me. We part and I walk to the subway station, get home and go to bed for a good 2 hours before I went to the aquarium with 2 of my students.

I’m an ass, and I know it. But, at least I did tell the truth…part of it.

Ps: ☆TAKU TAKAHASHI is effing awesome. He’s a great DJ, he really is. …which is why he’s a pro. I suggest checking out some M-flo stuff. Verbal (the other half) is really sexy and great at the rap thing…which is why he’s a pro too. As he says, “Don’t hate me, hate the game.”

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