From Candi:
The Year-End Review
With 2008 past, it's time too look back at what's past, so that I can move forward to the future. And what better way to do that then to steal a blog entry from someone? ;)
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Got a job, went to it, did it in a foreign language, and gave a couple of speeches - one to about 800 people, another to two groups of 3rd years, and the last to a group of important bureaucratic people...in a foreign language.
2. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope, but I know of two cases of pregnancy.
3. Did anyone close to you die?
No.
4. What countries did you visit?
Japan.
5. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A toner body.
6. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
"I have to go to the zoo and/or the aquarium with two of my students" because that is just classic.
Leaving for Japan.
7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I gave speeches and didn't die. I can now stand in front of the class and not feel like I'm going to have a heart attack.
8. What was your biggest failure?
My inability when it comes to social...things.
9. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Minor ones, and ones to pride/the heart.
10. What was the best thing you bought?
A PS2.
11. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Damn near everyone I know for reasons they should know.
12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
This girl I know who won't stop complaining.
13. Where did most of your money go?
Books.
14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
That guy.
Teaching.
Going to Japan.
Making jokes with the students.
15. What song will always remind you of 2008?
I'm not sure. Perhaps 'Pumpkin Soup.'
16. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? Richer...at least in experience
17. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Exercise, practicing, and drawing.
Hanging out with my mom/friends.
18. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Retarded things.
19. How did you spend Christmas?
At work.
20. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I feel into affection, perhaps not love.
21. How many one-night stands?
0.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Stargate SG-1
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't think so.
24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Kate Nash.
25. What did you want and get?
A PS2.
Stargate SG-1 Season 1.
Books.
26. What did you want and not get?
A clear understanding of what's going on.
27. What was your favorite film of this year?
Dark Knight.
28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went to work, read some 'thank you' notes from the students I gave a speech to, and then went home. I turned 23.
29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A clear understanding of what the bloody hell is going on.
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
"Let's dress more professionally 'cause now you have a job you filthy hobo"
31. What kept you sane?
Music. Liquor. Dancing.
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Verbal is still up there.
Hugh Jackman.
Johnny Depp.
33. What political issue stirred you the most?
Elections.
34. Who did you miss?
My mom.
35. Who was the best new person you met?
Darn near all the people I've met over here.
36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Just have it./Just do it.
Be in it to win it.
You can't change the past, so don't regret it/do things you think you will regret.
Pride is a useless thing. Just have fun.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
2009.01.30
Went to 1st year of elementary school today. I'm just not really in the mood for it this week apparently. Luckily we had a game to play otherwise I'd probably have fallen asleep. One kid poked me in the butt. That was new.
After lunch (I dropped some of it on my pants, by the way), I went back to the middle school. I had no classes since in the afternoon I have 3rd years, and they all went home early. Kinda sucked, but there's not much to be done about it. I graded some papers, translated parts of a song, stuff like that.
As I was leaving, one of the nurses was as well. She offered to give me a lift, which I appreciated, since she was going to about the same place. We talked about things like motorbikes, and then I asked her about that guy who kept messaging me. She said to change my number - I'm going to think about it. If he stops messaging, then it'll be okay. If not, then I might do that. She dropped me off, and I went home.
At around 9.30, went to karaoke - which is always fun...well, not always - and then to a club to dance. Had fun dancing. It's the most fun I've had mostly sober in a long while. Rather interesting night, all in all. Took a cab back at around 4.30 in the AM, and went to sleep. It was a good night. A good one indeed.
After lunch (I dropped some of it on my pants, by the way), I went back to the middle school. I had no classes since in the afternoon I have 3rd years, and they all went home early. Kinda sucked, but there's not much to be done about it. I graded some papers, translated parts of a song, stuff like that.
As I was leaving, one of the nurses was as well. She offered to give me a lift, which I appreciated, since she was going to about the same place. We talked about things like motorbikes, and then I asked her about that guy who kept messaging me. She said to change my number - I'm going to think about it. If he stops messaging, then it'll be okay. If not, then I might do that. She dropped me off, and I went home.
At around 9.30, went to karaoke - which is always fun...well, not always - and then to a club to dance. Had fun dancing. It's the most fun I've had mostly sober in a long while. Rather interesting night, all in all. Took a cab back at around 4.30 in the AM, and went to sleep. It was a good night. A good one indeed.
2009.01.29
School went well today. Went to some classes, had some fun, taught some English. I got to make some worksheets for 3rd year involving music, which is always fun.
Had Boxercise. I for there early so I could do some thigh work and stretch real well. It was an all around good workout. I really enjoyed it.
After that, I went home, ate some fruit, went to bed, and got messaged again by that weird guy at around 12. Weird.
Had Boxercise. I for there early so I could do some thigh work and stretch real well. It was an all around good workout. I really enjoyed it.
After that, I went home, ate some fruit, went to bed, and got messaged again by that weird guy at around 12. Weird.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
On a side note to those who may worry...
I am perfectly safe. This guy has no way of knowing where I live and I have very strong self-preservation instincts. No worries. I'm going to ask the Japanese people who I work with tomorrow about what I should do about this situation. No worries. Just having men send me pictures of their penis' is rather...weird. Now, I'm going to bed and going to try to forget about this until tomorrow when I can do something about it that will be something that this guy will understand since it'll be the Japanese thing to do.
Good night to all.
...and my door is locked. And "bolted," as is per normal for me.
Good night to all.
...and my door is locked. And "bolted," as is per normal for me.
2009.01.28
I ate whale today. It was good. It was in some ketchup-based sauce. De-lici-ous. Absolutely delicious. It tasted like chicken. Just a bit tougher. Like the tough parts of a chicken.
Oh yeah. Enjoy classes today. Went to a meeting in the afternoon. Helped people transfer money to home accounts. Then went out with them. Had a Sea Breeze for the first time in my life. It was pretty good. Pink as heck though. Well, assuming heck is really really really really pink, that is. Had a couple of beers. Had some spicy chicken stuff. Got texted by some really really really really strange guy.
Let me set this up for you...and tell you that I'm 99% sure I don't know who he actually is.
1) his message to me: "Don't send such perverted pictures. They make me want to masturbate" That was the message, and I knew that I didn't know him from then 'cause I've NEVER sent ANYONE any perverted pictures. Ever. Except to that one guy, but that really doesn't count since it was my friend knockers that were covered.
2) my message to him: "I think you have the wrong number. Who are you?"
3) his message: "I didn't make a mistake. Don't you know me? I am that bad? I'm from Akita, and my name is ------."
4) my message:
HOLY HELL, his last message before the one he just sent was "Don't you want to see my penis?" (let it be known that I haven't responded at all after the one that I was sure would end it...well two actually; the first being "Yes, it's no good. Sorry" (with sorry in English), and "(It's no good) because I don't know you" (which was evident after he asked me who I was...) BUT, he just sent me a message with an attachment. I don't think I've been more creeped out in a while. In a good long while. I think I'm going to hide under my sheets now and turn that traitorous phone off.
Oh yeah. Enjoy classes today. Went to a meeting in the afternoon. Helped people transfer money to home accounts. Then went out with them. Had a Sea Breeze for the first time in my life. It was pretty good. Pink as heck though. Well, assuming heck is really really really really pink, that is. Had a couple of beers. Had some spicy chicken stuff. Got texted by some really really really really strange guy.
Let me set this up for you...and tell you that I'm 99% sure I don't know who he actually is.
1) his message to me: "Don't send such perverted pictures. They make me want to masturbate" That was the message, and I knew that I didn't know him from then 'cause I've NEVER sent ANYONE any perverted pictures. Ever. Except to that one guy, but that really doesn't count since it was my friend knockers that were covered.
2) my message to him: "I think you have the wrong number. Who are you?"
3) his message: "I didn't make a mistake. Don't you know me? I am that bad? I'm from Akita, and my name is ------."
4) my message:
HOLY HELL, his last message before the one he just sent was "Don't you want to see my penis?" (let it be known that I haven't responded at all after the one that I was sure would end it...well two actually; the first being "Yes, it's no good. Sorry" (with sorry in English), and "(It's no good) because I don't know you" (which was evident after he asked me who I was...) BUT, he just sent me a message with an attachment. I don't think I've been more creeped out in a while. In a good long while. I think I'm going to hide under my sheets now and turn that traitorous phone off.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
2009.01.27
Elementary school today. I just wasn't in the mood for it today. Luckily it did get a bit better. I found that I enjoyed the male teachers' classes more. They seemed more lively and I appreciate the loud classes - they give you more to work with. Quiet classes are just that - QUIET. At least the loud ones give you a chance to have verbal exchange...some of which is hopefully along the lines of what you wanted to teach. Of course I'm not actually a real teacher. I've only had a few classes to myself, made activities, and spoken. Perhaps if I did more of that grammar teaching it's be a different story, but I have a feeling it wouldn't.
I realized today that if I learned 2 kanji a day from now until the end of May that I'd only learn about 232. Not enough for the JLPT but about 232 more than I know now. I should really get on that. My studying has been almost nonexistent lately. Ant it's not like I don't need to study. I do. A lot. I just need to get into the habit of studying again. I'm never going to achieve my goals unless I buckle down and get serious...serious about about stuff that I should be serious about. Like bar tending. Gotta learn how to make them drinks. Maybe barista-ing. I'm a man of few talents. It's time I made it a few more.
I did get to go to an 1-nen sei class. It was good. I enjoyed it. I found a book in the classroom that I might want to try out...assuming I can find it for ¥100.
Waited for the bus, as one is supposed to do when they want to ride it. I sent out a giant text about Saturday. It's out there now. There's going to be a party at my place, and it's gonna be fun. A PS is involved, so it has to be fun. It's an unwritten rule. Which means that I besta get my apartment in line...
Came home and did a bang-up job on the cleaning. It's not 100% complete, but it's at least at 90%. AT LEAST. I'm proud of myself for this. Granted, it'll be messy within a week, but that is not the point. The point is that at at least one point in time while I lived here, the apartment was clean and orderly. I also did some laundry. Yeah for laundry! Had to wash them gym clothes.
Useless Japanese Word of the day: nanji: thee. It also means 'what time?' if you make it questioning at the end. Oh yeah. I learned that word from a video game. Yeah for video games.
I realized today that if I learned 2 kanji a day from now until the end of May that I'd only learn about 232. Not enough for the JLPT but about 232 more than I know now. I should really get on that. My studying has been almost nonexistent lately. Ant it's not like I don't need to study. I do. A lot. I just need to get into the habit of studying again. I'm never going to achieve my goals unless I buckle down and get serious...serious about about stuff that I should be serious about. Like bar tending. Gotta learn how to make them drinks. Maybe barista-ing. I'm a man of few talents. It's time I made it a few more.
I did get to go to an 1-nen sei class. It was good. I enjoyed it. I found a book in the classroom that I might want to try out...assuming I can find it for ¥100.
Waited for the bus, as one is supposed to do when they want to ride it. I sent out a giant text about Saturday. It's out there now. There's going to be a party at my place, and it's gonna be fun. A PS is involved, so it has to be fun. It's an unwritten rule. Which means that I besta get my apartment in line...
Came home and did a bang-up job on the cleaning. It's not 100% complete, but it's at least at 90%. AT LEAST. I'm proud of myself for this. Granted, it'll be messy within a week, but that is not the point. The point is that at at least one point in time while I lived here, the apartment was clean and orderly. I also did some laundry. Yeah for laundry! Had to wash them gym clothes.
Useless Japanese Word of the day: nanji: thee. It also means 'what time?' if you make it questioning at the end. Oh yeah. I learned that word from a video game. Yeah for video games.
2009.01.26
Today school was pretty good. Not too much time to speak with the students, but that is okay. A teacher was late arriving at one of the classes so I got to be in charge for about 15 minutes. It wasn't too bad since I knew approximately what it was we were supposed to be doing. So, I made them repeat after me like how I would have done with the teacher in the room. And, just as I was trying to figure out what to do next, the teacher came and I could take my place again in the background. I like it there. Being there for random entertainment and pronunciation checks is nice...especially if I don't have anything on me for them to do...like worksheets. It was third years, so it wasn't so bad. Not that it would have been terrible in any grade.
After school, I went home, had some dinner, and then went to the Book-Off. There, I found Misery. That made me happy. I also got a couple of fighting games. I'm thinking about having people over for on Saturday, but I'm not sure. I think I will though. It should he fun.
After that bit of shopping, I went to the gym in plenty of time for the Boxercise class. I'm thinking of taking up a dance class. I just can't decide between hip-hop and belly dance. I want to learn hip-hop, but I've already studied belly dance for a while and I feel like I should continue with it. Assuming I can get more motivated, I'll do both, but the question is: which do I start with? Hip-hop will be better to get me in shape, but belly dance is good for muscle training, especially the...belly...
For some odd reason my shins hurt. Like the muscles there. I'm not sure why. Oh well. It's not that important.
The boxercise class was rather interesting. I enjoyed it. I'm amazingly uncoordinated, but that is okay. I have yet to fall down or punch myself in the face (although I have nicked myself once), so it's not that bad.
After the class (and the shower and changing...) I returned home and eventually went to sleep.
...you know, sometimes I forget that I'm obviously foreign until an old man stares at me while walking by. That's the moment of realization. It kinda sucks to be a freak show, but it could be worse. Most of the people here aren't trying to kill me.
...
which actually sounds more depressing than it is. I admit, I love it here.
After school, I went home, had some dinner, and then went to the Book-Off. There, I found Misery. That made me happy. I also got a couple of fighting games. I'm thinking about having people over for on Saturday, but I'm not sure. I think I will though. It should he fun.
After that bit of shopping, I went to the gym in plenty of time for the Boxercise class. I'm thinking of taking up a dance class. I just can't decide between hip-hop and belly dance. I want to learn hip-hop, but I've already studied belly dance for a while and I feel like I should continue with it. Assuming I can get more motivated, I'll do both, but the question is: which do I start with? Hip-hop will be better to get me in shape, but belly dance is good for muscle training, especially the...belly...
For some odd reason my shins hurt. Like the muscles there. I'm not sure why. Oh well. It's not that important.
The boxercise class was rather interesting. I enjoyed it. I'm amazingly uncoordinated, but that is okay. I have yet to fall down or punch myself in the face (although I have nicked myself once), so it's not that bad.
After the class (and the shower and changing...) I returned home and eventually went to sleep.
...you know, sometimes I forget that I'm obviously foreign until an old man stares at me while walking by. That's the moment of realization. It kinda sucks to be a freak show, but it could be worse. Most of the people here aren't trying to kill me.
...
which actually sounds more depressing than it is. I admit, I love it here.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
2009.01.25
I cleaned a wee bit today. Set up my scanner thing. It is nice. Almost didn't go to eat at a friends house but another friend asked me to so I did. More update like thing once I'm not so tired.
ps:
yeah...this is what I do in my free time occasionally. Other times I do less.
pps: my scissors broke. Broke good.
ps:
yeah...this is what I do in my free time occasionally. Other times I do less.
pps: my scissors broke. Broke good.
An update from whenever the last one was and yesterday...2009.01.24
So, I really don't remember much about what has been going on for the last couple of weeks in detail. I know that there was a conference, a mid year one to be specific. That was okay. Not sure I learned much, if anything, but it was an experience. Otherwise, I made a fool of myself again in front of that guy, but that's okay. I have a feeling that is just how I roll.
It's re-contracting time here. I think I'm in for another year at least. I must admit - this is probably the worst way for my parents to find out about this fact. Gonna send 'em an email and hope they read that before this. There's still so much for me to learn here, and I'm not ready to return for anything other than a visit.
I also rearranged my room. It's not 100% finished, but it's getting there.
I also bought a scanner/printer/copier thing. I didn't get the ink cartridges yet, but I'm getting closer. I had a ¥10,000 coupon, and enough points so I only ended up paying about ¥370 for it. Not too bad really. But now that means that updates will be coming from the drawing side of life.
Last night I did go out. (abrupt change, I know) My friends girlfriend asked that I come out with them specifically, so I did, but I kinda didn't want to. It was a good night. I had a nice beer, and spend an all-nighter in the Royal Host and then the McDonalds.
Oh, I also bought Misery (the book). I saw that movie, and I LOVE it. I loved the book. I loved the movie. It's just a good book. I think that makes me creepy, but that is okay. The people I tell that I like horror movies to seem surprised. I don't make a good Japanese woman. Oh well.
It's re-contracting time here. I think I'm in for another year at least. I must admit - this is probably the worst way for my parents to find out about this fact. Gonna send 'em an email and hope they read that before this. There's still so much for me to learn here, and I'm not ready to return for anything other than a visit.
I also rearranged my room. It's not 100% finished, but it's getting there.
I also bought a scanner/printer/copier thing. I didn't get the ink cartridges yet, but I'm getting closer. I had a ¥10,000 coupon, and enough points so I only ended up paying about ¥370 for it. Not too bad really. But now that means that updates will be coming from the drawing side of life.
Last night I did go out. (abrupt change, I know) My friends girlfriend asked that I come out with them specifically, so I did, but I kinda didn't want to. It was a good night. I had a nice beer, and spend an all-nighter in the Royal Host and then the McDonalds.
Oh, I also bought Misery (the book). I saw that movie, and I LOVE it. I loved the book. I loved the movie. It's just a good book. I think that makes me creepy, but that is okay. The people I tell that I like horror movies to seem surprised. I don't make a good Japanese woman. Oh well.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
To duvet or not to duvet...
I bought a pillowcase, and I love it. I'm not so sure if I'll get the duvet cover to go with it or not, but I do think I enjoy it. Of course, I do love the fact that it makes my pillow about 10 degrees (C, mind) warmer than without it. Perhaps the duvet cover is the same way?
Monday, January 12, 2009
Starting off with a disclaimer is not a good way to start a post...
So, this is to my parents (this disclaimer that is):
Hey guys,
Don't worry about me. I'm doing great. Fumbling down this road called life, but that is what maturing is for...it's just I get to do it in two languages. I've yet to do anything that I regret - there are some things that I've done that make me realize how dumb I am, or how much of a child I am, but there's nothing that I've really regretted...regretted in that bad way. Hopefully you know what I mean by that. Perhaps these entries have been a little too honest and open, but I figure honesty is the best way to go. Let's all face this now: I'm getting older, my missteps as we shall call them are getting more noticeable. Not to mention, this blog is a view into a part of my life that was very secret from you guys before...you know...since it's really different to hang out with friends than it is your parents. Now, I hope that statement doesn't worry you. I can't honestly think of anything that I regret. Of course, the fact that I've been working on that whole 'it's in the past, so no use regretting it since there is nothing you can do about it anyway' thing doesn't hurt. Obviously I also think that it is a good idea (one of the best actually) to try to do nothing that you will regret, but it is not always possible to do that especially if there are others around who are involved ('cause sometimes what you think is okay they might not - people are different so it's hard to judge sometimes).
Now, having said all that we can do two things:
1) Don't worry. I'll call or email if something happens. You are still my parents and I'm willing to take advice, and more than willing to seek it when I know I need it. You guys can also email or call if you get worried. I've been amazingly slow with emails lately, but I'm hoping to become more communicative in the next little while. I've been like this to just about everyone, so it's not anything against you guys.
2) I can stop posting about things that may worry you, or that could be considered too much information...
I think I prefer the first option. You guys can also leave comments. Everyone's allowed to.
Please let me know, and please don't worry.
*~*~*~*~* end of the disclaimer *~*~*~*~*~*
Now, onto the post: (ps: if you are my parents and you picked option 2 then do not read below this line...or probably the blog...@______@ )
Well, I forget where I left off but we'll talk about this weekend.
Not too terribly much happened...although I did make out with another guy. I have no idea how it happened, but it did. Almost went to a hotel with him too (now is the time to add that I did just start my period (like, today, and this was about a day and a half ago) and right before my period starts is one of the only times I used to think that having sex was an okay idea. I blame that the most...well, that and the liquor and fact that I had just given up hope on this one guy that I like even thinking of me as a friend - it's a deadly combo, son, a deadly one indeed). I remember I called this guy who I'm amazingly confused by, gave up on him, and then the next thing I remember is him saying 'hotel?' and me saying 'I want to, but my friends...' which made sense to me at the time...I think it has to do with us all being foreigners and having everybody know your business about 3 seconds after something happens. All I can really say is that I think there might be a party when I finally lose my virginity (yeah, I am still one...this is really close to that TMI line that I seem to have lost a few days after coming to this country). So, anyway, back to the story... I didn't go to the hotel with the guy but one of the other girls there gave me a condom, so we all know it was a close call. One of the other foreigners called me a whore, and I had to agree with him; that I was probably the biggest whore out of all the ALTs just that I'm a virgin so I'm a crappy whore. Honestly, what the hell happened to me? I think it's some strange combo of horny foreigners always being around ('cause they are), being in Japan, always being asked if I have a boyfriend, and the fact this is one of the few times I've ever had any sort of attention like that 'cause normally I am one of the guys, not one of the things guys want. So, I didn't have sex, but I do think I am a whore, and I need to cut that shit out. As punishment, I did, indeed, spend a good little while at the ceramic shrine puking my stomach up. I used to be able to hold my liquor - now I can't. What happened to that, too? Lose of morals shouldn't also come with lose of liquor tolerance - it should be the opposite way; less morals, more liquor.
So, I got home (I do have really good friends - thank god, eh) [alone, except for a friend who came with to make sure I got home safely]. Slept for a while. Did somethings...not too sure what...the next day. Met up with a foreigner, a male who is dating a Japanese girl...kinda dating.... He's just as confused as I am if not more so since they have done things and have actually meet outside of clubs. I basically said that I had given up on the guy and that I wasn't so sure if I'd go to the guys DJ thing on Friday. We did a little shopping and came back to my place for a movie. We started to watch "There Will Be Blood" and a couple more friends came over. Finished watching that movie and two of the 5 of us left (obviously I wasn't one since were were at my place). Started to watch 'Misery' ('cause I wanted to see it) and he calls. The DJ guy. The guy who confuses me. We talk for a little while and now I'm even more confused. I had the balls to ask him out on a date and then I think we both forgot. I remember now, obviously, but I don't know if he does. All I know is that I act amazingly retarded around him and say dumb things. It sucks, but it's who I am since I have zero experience. But, that learning curve is a bitch. Luckily he is a nice guy who either thinks I'm funny, or maybe he does like me. I don't know. I'm confused. But, I am going to the show on Friday. Mind, it's at the same club that I just had a close call in, so I hope that guy isn't there since I have no idea what he looks like or who he is. At all. Seriously none. But, I'm giving all my money to my friend, so I get no liquor this time. Unless someone I know buys it for me. But that'll be just one or two at the max. Perhaps I don't eat enough to have the same tolerance I used to, but I need to not puke again. Not for at least 6 months. Hopefully it'll be a lot longer, but I've a lot of growing up to do or some other bullshit.
Dude. I am such a kid. I spent almost my entire winter break playing video games. I'm not even kidding. I bought the system just so I could do that all break. Honestly, I think some of my 3 nen sei's are more mature than me.
Did I tell you the story about how I got a boyfriend for when I turn 25? I did. He said that I needed to mature more. I'm down with that. I just think it's really funny. Aaaaand, he's a rapper.
Anyway, the next day (which would be today), I was pissed 'cause my period still hadn't started. It was about 2 weeks late. I mean, I'm a virgin so it's no big deal, but it still pissed me off since I've been waiting for it to come for 2 weeks. I hate wearing pads and I've been doing it for two weeks for no reason. But, I watched 'Misery' again and eventually met with my friend. She studied, I just got pissed off at the textbook thing that I have since I've learned damn near all of it at least twice before and it's really irritating. On that first test we had, I got 100% and I didn't really study at all. For some reason it just angered me today, so I drew instead. That was nice. It's been a while since I actually sat down and drew anything. Didn't get very far on the picture, but it was nice. We eventually stopped those activities, and she came back to my place, and she made dinner, and we watched a movie. Seriously, Japanese people don't know what they are missing by not really inviting people over for dinner and a movie/games. It's nice. Perhaps if I grow balls I'll invite Japanese people over for a little bit of foreign fun times. My apartment is pretty messy, but I still have people over. Luckily they call it 'comfortable' while I call it 'filthy,' but they are other foreigners. Japanese people would probably flip out. But that's cool. I can laugh it off.
BUT, my period did start and that makes me happy because it finally did, but pisses me off 'cause I hate having a period. Seriously. The fact that I bleed from the crotch for a week and don't die is kinda creepy. 'Course the fact I used to be able to put away half a bottle of Vodka and not get sick is also a little creepy, but I seem to have lost that skill. Maybe it is the fact I'm not eating as much as I used to. Who knows? All I do know is that I'm about 1/3 the way to my weight lose goal. I know the inches are more important, but it's harder to have goals with that other than losing a set number of inches, and I'm not sure what that goal would me. So, we are sticking with the weight for now. Just another 2/3's and I'm there. Now, whether or not I keep to that goal is another story since my goal weight may or may not be good for me since I do have a large frame. We'll see. Perhaps BMI is the best way to go for it, but that means I need to do more math and it's past 11 PM at this moment in time.
Tomorrow is a conference. It's gonna suck. I'd rather be at school. Which reminds me, I have to prepare for elementary school o(^-^;;;; Oh poop.
Hey guys,
Don't worry about me. I'm doing great. Fumbling down this road called life, but that is what maturing is for...it's just I get to do it in two languages. I've yet to do anything that I regret - there are some things that I've done that make me realize how dumb I am, or how much of a child I am, but there's nothing that I've really regretted...regretted in that bad way. Hopefully you know what I mean by that. Perhaps these entries have been a little too honest and open, but I figure honesty is the best way to go. Let's all face this now: I'm getting older, my missteps as we shall call them are getting more noticeable. Not to mention, this blog is a view into a part of my life that was very secret from you guys before...you know...since it's really different to hang out with friends than it is your parents. Now, I hope that statement doesn't worry you. I can't honestly think of anything that I regret. Of course, the fact that I've been working on that whole 'it's in the past, so no use regretting it since there is nothing you can do about it anyway' thing doesn't hurt. Obviously I also think that it is a good idea (one of the best actually) to try to do nothing that you will regret, but it is not always possible to do that especially if there are others around who are involved ('cause sometimes what you think is okay they might not - people are different so it's hard to judge sometimes).
Now, having said all that we can do two things:
1) Don't worry. I'll call or email if something happens. You are still my parents and I'm willing to take advice, and more than willing to seek it when I know I need it. You guys can also email or call if you get worried. I've been amazingly slow with emails lately, but I'm hoping to become more communicative in the next little while. I've been like this to just about everyone, so it's not anything against you guys.
2) I can stop posting about things that may worry you, or that could be considered too much information...
I think I prefer the first option. You guys can also leave comments. Everyone's allowed to.
Please let me know, and please don't worry.
*~*~*~*~* end of the disclaimer *~*~*~*~*~*
Now, onto the post: (ps: if you are my parents and you picked option 2 then do not read below this line...or probably the blog...@______@ )
Well, I forget where I left off but we'll talk about this weekend.
Not too terribly much happened...although I did make out with another guy. I have no idea how it happened, but it did. Almost went to a hotel with him too (now is the time to add that I did just start my period (like, today, and this was about a day and a half ago) and right before my period starts is one of the only times I used to think that having sex was an okay idea. I blame that the most...well, that and the liquor and fact that I had just given up hope on this one guy that I like even thinking of me as a friend - it's a deadly combo, son, a deadly one indeed). I remember I called this guy who I'm amazingly confused by, gave up on him, and then the next thing I remember is him saying 'hotel?' and me saying 'I want to, but my friends...' which made sense to me at the time...I think it has to do with us all being foreigners and having everybody know your business about 3 seconds after something happens. All I can really say is that I think there might be a party when I finally lose my virginity (yeah, I am still one...this is really close to that TMI line that I seem to have lost a few days after coming to this country). So, anyway, back to the story... I didn't go to the hotel with the guy but one of the other girls there gave me a condom, so we all know it was a close call. One of the other foreigners called me a whore, and I had to agree with him; that I was probably the biggest whore out of all the ALTs just that I'm a virgin so I'm a crappy whore. Honestly, what the hell happened to me? I think it's some strange combo of horny foreigners always being around ('cause they are), being in Japan, always being asked if I have a boyfriend, and the fact this is one of the few times I've ever had any sort of attention like that 'cause normally I am one of the guys, not one of the things guys want. So, I didn't have sex, but I do think I am a whore, and I need to cut that shit out. As punishment, I did, indeed, spend a good little while at the ceramic shrine puking my stomach up. I used to be able to hold my liquor - now I can't. What happened to that, too? Lose of morals shouldn't also come with lose of liquor tolerance - it should be the opposite way; less morals, more liquor.
So, I got home (I do have really good friends - thank god, eh) [alone, except for a friend who came with to make sure I got home safely]. Slept for a while. Did somethings...not too sure what...the next day. Met up with a foreigner, a male who is dating a Japanese girl...kinda dating.... He's just as confused as I am if not more so since they have done things and have actually meet outside of clubs. I basically said that I had given up on the guy and that I wasn't so sure if I'd go to the guys DJ thing on Friday. We did a little shopping and came back to my place for a movie. We started to watch "There Will Be Blood" and a couple more friends came over. Finished watching that movie and two of the 5 of us left (obviously I wasn't one since were were at my place). Started to watch 'Misery' ('cause I wanted to see it) and he calls. The DJ guy. The guy who confuses me. We talk for a little while and now I'm even more confused. I had the balls to ask him out on a date and then I think we both forgot. I remember now, obviously, but I don't know if he does. All I know is that I act amazingly retarded around him and say dumb things. It sucks, but it's who I am since I have zero experience. But, that learning curve is a bitch. Luckily he is a nice guy who either thinks I'm funny, or maybe he does like me. I don't know. I'm confused. But, I am going to the show on Friday. Mind, it's at the same club that I just had a close call in, so I hope that guy isn't there since I have no idea what he looks like or who he is. At all. Seriously none. But, I'm giving all my money to my friend, so I get no liquor this time. Unless someone I know buys it for me. But that'll be just one or two at the max. Perhaps I don't eat enough to have the same tolerance I used to, but I need to not puke again. Not for at least 6 months. Hopefully it'll be a lot longer, but I've a lot of growing up to do or some other bullshit.
Dude. I am such a kid. I spent almost my entire winter break playing video games. I'm not even kidding. I bought the system just so I could do that all break. Honestly, I think some of my 3 nen sei's are more mature than me.
Did I tell you the story about how I got a boyfriend for when I turn 25? I did. He said that I needed to mature more. I'm down with that. I just think it's really funny. Aaaaand, he's a rapper.
Anyway, the next day (which would be today), I was pissed 'cause my period still hadn't started. It was about 2 weeks late. I mean, I'm a virgin so it's no big deal, but it still pissed me off since I've been waiting for it to come for 2 weeks. I hate wearing pads and I've been doing it for two weeks for no reason. But, I watched 'Misery' again and eventually met with my friend. She studied, I just got pissed off at the textbook thing that I have since I've learned damn near all of it at least twice before and it's really irritating. On that first test we had, I got 100% and I didn't really study at all. For some reason it just angered me today, so I drew instead. That was nice. It's been a while since I actually sat down and drew anything. Didn't get very far on the picture, but it was nice. We eventually stopped those activities, and she came back to my place, and she made dinner, and we watched a movie. Seriously, Japanese people don't know what they are missing by not really inviting people over for dinner and a movie/games. It's nice. Perhaps if I grow balls I'll invite Japanese people over for a little bit of foreign fun times. My apartment is pretty messy, but I still have people over. Luckily they call it 'comfortable' while I call it 'filthy,' but they are other foreigners. Japanese people would probably flip out. But that's cool. I can laugh it off.
BUT, my period did start and that makes me happy because it finally did, but pisses me off 'cause I hate having a period. Seriously. The fact that I bleed from the crotch for a week and don't die is kinda creepy. 'Course the fact I used to be able to put away half a bottle of Vodka and not get sick is also a little creepy, but I seem to have lost that skill. Maybe it is the fact I'm not eating as much as I used to. Who knows? All I do know is that I'm about 1/3 the way to my weight lose goal. I know the inches are more important, but it's harder to have goals with that other than losing a set number of inches, and I'm not sure what that goal would me. So, we are sticking with the weight for now. Just another 2/3's and I'm there. Now, whether or not I keep to that goal is another story since my goal weight may or may not be good for me since I do have a large frame. We'll see. Perhaps BMI is the best way to go for it, but that means I need to do more math and it's past 11 PM at this moment in time.
Tomorrow is a conference. It's gonna suck. I'd rather be at school. Which reminds me, I have to prepare for elementary school o(^-^;;;; Oh poop.
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