Friday, April 3, 2009


A couple of nights ago I had a dream where everything was going my way. Perhaps it wasn’t the best, but at least things were crawling in the right direction. It seems like that was a karmatic warning for me. The director of the pantomime is pissed off at me (which I can accept) and is completely misunderstanding why I did what I did (which saddens me). I feel as if the people would get more enjoyment of doing the play without me and having a DVD be made than if I were to join in the play and there not be one. As one person put it, “Imagine the drunk funs times we’ll have watching it and remembering how dumb we were.” Then, there’s also the parent and friends outside of the Sendai area factor. They’d get to see it. My role really isn’t that important. But, I did tell her (the director) that having the DVD would mean more to everyone than it means for me to be in it. I can see how that could be taken the wrong way. I obviously didn’t take it the wrong way because I understand my feelings. She did because I didn’t do a good job of explaining my feelings. I hope that she will forgive me eventually. AND, I also spilled coffee on my futon, comforter-like thing, pillow, and carpet this morning. The pillow took most of the brunt of the spilled coffee. I think I’m going to have to get a new one. Oh well; time to drown my sorrows in shopping, food, and drinks…maybe. There’s also video games and movies; drawing and writing, exercise too. Y’know, sometimes I think I’d be much better off living on a mountainside with little to no human contact, but for that I’d have to have a way to support myself. All I need to do is become a famous writer or something so I can work at home and never leave it except to occasionally go grocery shopping. Maybe I can get a maid to do that. Sometimes I really do think that would be the best way to go about living. Maybe I could just move to Poland. But if the economies keep going the way they have been, who knows if being an author would be such a prestigious career option as it used to be (assuming you actually sold a decent amount of books that is). Perhaps I’ve just been thinking too much lately. I am currently sitting in a completely empty staff room with only the tea lady who never says a full sentence to me for company. I might just be feeling a little left out. But there is no way I will be able to sit through the staff meeting. Maybe what I need to do is go sit at the Starbucks in the most visible seat and draw nudey pictures…and by that, I mean the 11’ x 14’ pin-ups for March of Dimes that I’m doing.

I tried Cafè Ole with lemon juice, a Cafè Leme if you will, and it’s worse than the Mocha Leme. If you are going to try one yourself, I suggest the Mocha Leme. It’s surprisingly tasty…and curdled.

I looked at a schedule for the gym classes today. I highlighted ones that I might be interested in. There’s quite a few. I’m going to have to look up the teachers of the classes online tonight ( if anyone wants to check it out) and see how they strike me. I’m already doing the “Fighting” one and have no plans of stopping. It’s a great class – I love it. Some of the classes I highlighted are: Zumba, Flamenco, Belly Dance Beginner (since you gotta pay extra for the higher level), Hot Yoga, Crunch Circuit, Latin Dance, Hula Dance, Aerobics Beginner (since I’ve never done it before), Stretch Circuit, Fighting (with a different teacher), Aerobics Latin 45 (‘cause just listen to the name, man, listen to it), and Rock Dance (since I have no idea what that could be). There a couple that just confused me, so I want to read the description of them and they are “Hot Diet,” and “Diet School.”

I think I should give up coffee…and cut back on black teas. Not sure how that is going to go especially since I’m in the coffee club at school and whatnot, but we’ll see. It may not go anywhere, and this idea might be spawned from a slight distaste I have hidden within me for coffee from this morning’s incident.

My music might be trying to tell me something. The first song it played: Clay Aiken’s Solitaire. Coincidence, perhaps, but it might be my life councilor.


  1. I know exactly how you feel! Maybe we could both go live in the mountains of Japan together. And by together I mean, close enough to see each other and borrow money, but far enough away to still be considered hermits ;)

    I think we may be going through similar mental things... I'm starting to question just about everything I'm doing in my life... Yesterday I wanted to quit everything in my life so I could just train for 12 hours a day... that would be the life...

    You're lucky you have so many different gym classes to choose from!

  2. Dude, I am so behind that. To the hills!!!

    Yeah, it kinda sucks. I can't tell if I'm doing anything worthwhile, or if I'm just dicking around at an easy job where I get paid for writing stories at my desk and pretending to work (at least until classes start that is - then I stand about and smile...occasionally making a joke with a kid) I honestly don't know what I'd be doing if I weren't doing this though. I don't think I have any sellable skills.

    Yup. And today I'm thinking of going and just looking into some as I exercise on the machines (mostly 'cause I don't think I'm up for true gyming today). It's really expensive though - but totally worth it.

  3. lol I will look me up a flight to Japan and we'll go from there! meet me at the bike racks at 6:00! ;)

    I know what you mean. It's one of those things were it's like, you don't feel like you have any skills because you never use them. Maybe you just need to find something to push youself? I've been happy as a clam since I started kung fu again, but that's because now I have something that I have to use "skills" to do and feel more accomplished.

    You has lotsa skills!