TUMBLR!!!!!

I got a tumblr account!
Check it out!! It'll be a little of everything...once I get it started...

http://sdmccarty.tumblr.com/

Christmas Review

Yesterday's PT was the best I've had...my trainer said so. Did the det lifts the best I ever had (I got a high five for it) and we moved onto wide legged squats. It was a great feeling of accomplishment and hope to continue to improve in 2011! I just hope the week off of the gym (since it's closed...) doesn't set me back too much. I'm going to attempt to exercise even over the break, but that might not work out...haha. Unintentional pun! Bad job, me, bad job.

For my "Christmas Dinner," I had a hamburger-bagel, a fruit plate, and a sweet bean bread. It was good. Not really Christmassy, but that's okay. The normal things for the US are rather expensive here, and I can't eat fried chicken and didn't want to eat a normal cake (Japanese style), so I made do with what I wanted...bread, meat, and fruit.

Finished off two pictures I owed for Christmas. They were finished on time! Go me!

Sent a couple of emails, did some Facebook-ing.

Then played some video games and called home. Went to bed shortly after that. Didn't get to sleep 'til much later, but I went to bed none-the-less.

Today, the day after Christmas, I will gym, then go to my friends 'Good-bye Party' and enjoy that. Tomorrow is work...unless I take off. I should probably go in so I don't get used to not going then get all disgruntled with having to go when school starts up again...but...but...

Mondays always make me depressed :(

Like, for real.

A random selection of "funny" pictures...none of which really helped...



http://damnyouautocorrect.com/2391/ultimate-frisbee/

I started a NEW blog!!

About writing! Since I do it sparingly! (take that comment how you will)

The intro:
"November. It's the month of NaNoWriMo...I know that last bit stands for month so I'm being terribly redundant, but that is how we will live for now. This month of months has inspired me to write without editing or care (well, some care since it is a story and I don't want to create such terrible writing as to be compared to feces...unless you find them terribly entertaining in which case I do want to be compared to them...well, my writing, perhaps not me as a person). I know it's a bit too late to start now on NaNoWriMo since November is almost over and whatnot. But, I am going to attempt to embark on a mission to write a novel up to their standards...which is a lot of words. A lot of them. I will write without editing and probably with little forethought.

I hope you enjoy. Please feel free to tell me what you think. I may occasionally leave comments with my thoughts or comments on the writing. I will post whatever I have whenever I have it.

Please enjoy.

Also, I plan on writing drunk sometimes. See if you can figure out when I did (and when I didn't, but should have)! <3 "

The blog is here: No Va Writing
(also, check out the side notes! I already have side notes...which are more like warnings...)

I got my weight training gloves today. They are awesome. I feel so cool in them! Now to get the awesome body to go with the awesome gloves...

Two days worth of weight training in one day. If I'm not sore tomorrow then I lift too little. But I am seeing some results from it. Thanks to HotGym. He's good people.

I hope the weight training gloves I bought come soon. My hands are getting a touch callused...

My back hurts today. The left side. I guess I over did something. Too many ab exercises? Too thrustful with my punches? Slept too long? I'm not sure which, but I'm guessing it's the last one there. So, today at the gym, I took it way easy. Very very easy.

Today was Culture Day, so it was a holiday. No work. I didn't really do much. Not much at all.

All in all, it was a good day. No Fidou, but a good day.

I exercised for a bit over 3 hours today.
I'm TOTALLY undoing all of it by drinking a cream liquor now.
...and am having a cheese burger tomorrow morning (yes, for breakfast!). I even got the cheese and everything already. I just have to wake up tomorrow, clean the dishes I'm going to use, do a bit of prep work and then eat like a fattie. A very happy fattie. Unless the cheese disagrees with me. In which case a happy-then-unhappy fattie.

I wonder if you can actually not eat enough fat regularly so your body starts to crave it bad... I know that your body can get addicted to sugars and so forth, so I try not to over do the sugars so it can't get addicted to them. But, I wonder if I've cut out my fats too much. If I had to guess, I'd guess that I normally have about 10-15 grams a day. It seems like a lot to me, but I don't think it is, actually. I know I'm getting a lot less now that I've stopped school lunch (over half is fried foods and I can't handle fried foods without a few beers in me [it's true!], so I had to stop it so I could eat lunch). I'll ask some trainers and see what they have to say.

Normally. This cream liquor probably has me in the 30 gram range steadily climbing to a bazillion shortly.

I need to buy weight training gloves. My hands are going to get all callused. Which would be fine, but I think I need to get my "jyousei-ryoku"(girl power [basically, girl-ness]) upped not downed. Or move to a country where the men are actually manly, for the most part.

Thank god Halloween only comes once a year. Candy Corn is my crack. It truly is. It's about the ONLY candy that I love so much as to eat until I'm sick. I love it so much. Too much. I ate almost all that my mom sent me. Thank goodness there's none in this country. I want more. And I don't. I love it. And I hate it. I want it. I need it. And I don't.

Who else digs candy corn? Am I the only one?

I went to the gym today. I didn't want to, but I did. I'm glad that I did. It was good even if I did only walk for an hour. I kinda hope to go tomorrow as well, but I'm so tired now who knows.

Yesterday it was so hot I thought about wearing shorts and had all my windows open.
Today it's so cold that I need a jacket...and 2 or 3 layers MORE! Winter got here suddenly...too suddenly.

Exercised for about 4 hours today. Good times. Good times. Worst part is, it'll still probably take a few hours to get to sleep. Good part, it was fun and hopefully made me just that much healthier...or tomorrow I won't be able to move...perhaps both...At least I didn't stay at home and drink too much. Which is one reason I gymed for so long. There's no one here to make me not drink/I'd rather hang with (and can) and NOT drink/etc.

Eh. I'm tired. Just not so much physically...

A student gave me a pumpkin.
I wonder if I should eat it...or carve it...or both.

Went to a Fidou class today. It was GREAT! I really need to start enjoying my exercise more. I ran for one minute...it made me feel good since I hate running...

The total agony and total euphoria...

I am alive.

Today was a good day.

Except for the fact that my ankle and knee started to hurt before I could gym. But, I guess that is okay. It just means I need to lay off the gym a bit for a bit. Yes! Many bits in one sentence!

In other news, I am socially booked up for a bit. I got plans on Monday, Tuesday, AND Wednesday! Granted, one is personal training, so I'm not so sure how that's going to work out, but it is. That's social as far as I am concerned since I get to talk to my personal trainer. Last week he asked me lots of questions and initiated conversation. Good sign as far as I'm concerned. Perhaps I have a shot? Perhaps not? Who knows!?

Today was the first day of 新人戦(shinninsen = where the 2 and 1 years get to go out and play sports without being overshadowed by the 3 years). I went to track. It was good. I had a good time. One 3 year kept telling me not to do stuff so that was kinda bad. I felt bad for joking too much...that 3 year got to me. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope to be awesome and not as much of a problem...

I found an AMAZING jacket today. Only real problem? It's about $160. Yeah. That's a lot. But it felt really nice, and is cuter than anything that I own or could ever own ever. But mostly it felt nice.

I'm catching cold :'(

PT sucked today. I just couldn't do anything...Luckily HotGym is nice so he said basically all the right things...well, they would be all the right things if anything he said would be the right thing, but I push myself extra hard. I had thought "Well, I may not be trying that hard in other areas of my life, but at least I'm gyming hard!" and then I could even do that so I felt very down. I then walked for 45 minutes (like his advice actually), and started to do some abs. He came over to put folders away and told me not to push myself so hard. To take it slow. Which I know I should. So, I stopped and stretched then came home.

But. Still. Sucky.

Abs only hurt a slight bit. Mostly around the obliques.

More are needed apparently.

I did about 550 crunches at the gym today. Let's see if I feel it tomorrow. I'm betting on the no side...

So, I heard you hurt yourself at the gym, eh? Blood came out and everything, eh? Fidou a bit too rough for you?

...No, not in Fidou. Well then how? Weight troubles?

... ...with a brush...? While brushing your hair...? You wounded yourself bad enough to bleed by brushing your hair?
Good thing you left your body brushes at home, eh.

I had a dream about fat, large carrots being on sale.
The prices of fresh fruit and veg apparently is getting to me.

I just received a text message that was mostly unintelligible from a person who is supposed to teach English to kids...My faith in this program is dwindling more than it already was.

Today I was introduced to the students.
I got in good with the 'bad boys' in 3rd year. I'm set for this year. Awesome!
I also got a couple of 'nice body's and a 'cool face.' Teenage boys have low standards...

Luckily most of my phone was restored, but I'm still not 100% happy with this thing yet...

I wanted to leave early. Needless to say, my stupid phone has completely effed up and now I'll probably be leaving a touch late. So far this new iPhone has been nothing but trouble. It's good features are not outweighing all the trouble it's caused.

If I have to re-add ALL my phone book, I'll be pissed. I got about half of it in and that took a few hours. Granted, if I could download the phone book program for iPhone, it'd be easier, but I need a Japanese iTunes account...which I don't have, so I can't. Stupid iPhone. Stupid, stupid iPhone.

I just read a couple tutorials from fox-orian and feel, for lack of a better term, kinda brain-fucked. Seriously hardcore stuff there. Reading it really makes me want to try harder and practice harder at the scribblings I call art. His work is really awesome. And I mean that in the original intention of the word - awe inspiring. The way he talked about composition and perspective and balance, scale, depth, and whatnot really has my mind reeling. It's a good feeling. Makes me want to get a giant table and start to work extra hard on my works. I have a strong desire to draw something ANYTHING using what he's said, but I'm at work, so I can't...especially since I have a speech kid coming in a few minutes. This one thing he said: REMEMBER THAT COMPOSITION AND CRITICAL THINKING ARE IMPORTANT SKILLS THAT ALL ARTISTS MUST BE FAMILIAR WITH. is something that I really need to remember. I think that I don't think enough about what I'm drawing when I do draw. And I hardly ever have backgrounds. I think I am still at the stage where I need to work on my figures a bit more then start on bgs and whatnot while continuing with the figures. I know I have a lot of work to do on my drawing and I haven't been putting in nearly enough time for it lately. Perhaps I need to just take the plunge and not worry so much about if it comes out "perfect" or whatnot. Just doing it may be a good start. If I fail, at least I may be able to get some good critiques out of it and learn something.

I've only really had one boyfriend - how pathetic is that?

Personal training is going well. I can feel the effects even if it's yet to really be seen. My legs will be amazingly sore tomorrow I think. The training was on Monday, so I gymed extra hard today to try to make tomorrow not as terrible as it could be.

I'm slowly getting better I think. I stopped taking the anti-depressants since they were really screwing with me...in MANY bad ways. I'm feeling less suicidal and more motivated now. Hopefully once they get out of my system I'll be back to normal even if it means I vomit more. I prefer that in multiple ways.

I plan on going to the doctor on Thursday. Hopefully we'll have good news by then. I'm still not 100%, but at least it's more than >50% like I've been for the past month+.

http://unhappyhipsters.com/post/888518823/another-friday-night-spent-spilling-his-guts-to

Oh, good. I've spent half of today tossing my cookies. I'm glad to hear that. But not really...at all.

Today's song.

Wine on an almost empty stomach. Both bad and good.

I did laundry and made rice. I'm all set for tomorrow to suck.

It's kinda like my job now but with less work, more lies, and a higher pay.

I ate so much today...

No classes today since there were tests. I got to grade the little writing section on the tests for 2nen. It was good. Took a little over an hour to grade 7 sections. I'm good.

Gym was good. Hot and good.

haha, almost passed out at the bus stop. Took a day off with sick leave. Good times.

Now, I'm sitting at home, hydrating, trying not to eat too much and drawing pictures. I might catch some z's a little later on, but who knows.

All this and I'm still going to the gym tonight. HotGym and promises. 2 things that make going to the gym a must.

I need to lay off the red wine.

I do. Greatly.

Just 'cause.

It's supposed to rain for the next 3 days.

I have no rain shoes.

This will suck.

Damn you rainy season! Damn you!

"At 15, not knowing who you are..."
I'm 20-something, and I still have no idea who the bloody hell I am. I honestly have no idea.

All I do know is that I'm going to meet my friend's friend who is a rapper on Friday night. Should be darn good. There's nothing like rappers. The first (and last...) one I met said he'd date me as soon as I turned 25. Good times. Good times.

Check out the interview I did. You know, if you'd like. It's an interview with Greg Capullo of Spawn (and a few more) fame.

I am excited by this.

Music of the moment

I bought exercise pants today. They are a Japanese M, an American S, and a UK 10. I honestly didn't think I was that small. They must be making the pants a little larger than normal since we're in a recession.

Now you all know my size.

Also, the pants are PHANTOM/PINKBUZZ.

Totally true. That half-way mark is almost more awesome than finishing.

Didn't end up going to the classes. Just did some weights and then took a shower and left. Suck ass.

My knee kinda hurts so no hardcore gyming today. I'll go to a few classes (...2) and then see about buying a knee brace after. Gotta get new exercise clothes since 2 sets aren't really working. I basically have to do laundry once a day. And I dislike doing laundry. I obviously do it, but everyday is a little too much for me.

No smile yesterday :(

Maybe today.

I've had many cups of cold Jasmine tea today. It's been a good day. The only thing that can make it better is a hot cup of good Earl Grey with just the right amount of milk. I have no milk so this dream will have to wait. Which I'm fine with since it's over 28 degrees.

One of the girls at the front desk of the gym smiled at me yesterday. It was a cute smile. A real one. That made me happy. I hope to receive more smiles more often.

I just made a new blog account. This is for people who are friends and not family. If you have interest, send me a mail and I'll get back to you about it.
This new account is basically I diary with the ability for a few select people to see it. It'll be my dairy of sorts with viewers.

I just like this song. Anything with Verbal in it is much better. Add Kanye, and you have a combo that just can't be beat.

I just noticed on the gym monthly schedule:

~ In rainy day, Let's enjoy work out here! ~

is written. Wow, gym, wow. nice effort. I hope it wasn't my friend trainer who speaks English well 'cause I'd be a little saddened by that from her. She's better than that. Much better.

This bird is like me. Except that I'm not that into sausages...

Take that as you will. Had a hot dog at school lunch and it was disappointing. Very.

I went to the store.
No young children after me goods.
Nice job, me.

I had a pretty good time at the gym today. It was enjoyable.
I kinda want wine...maybe I'll buy some...

I must buy laundry detergent.
Last time I did, I got a 14 year old at my door asking me for sex.
I wonder what I'll get this time?


















Probably nothing, let's be honest here. Nothing is a safe bet, but still...

I just hit myself in the head with a hanger.
Good times.

We did more "This is ~." "That is ~." practicing today. We even learned the question form. I got to steal student's things again. Good times. Pictionary was good times as well. I got them to draw the teacher a couple of times (twice). The first time was a little frightening, the second was kinda cute.

Took nenkyuu (paid leave) tomorrow. Going to work on an entry into a contest that I have no shot of winning, but I really want to do it since I think it'll give me a push in the right direction. Also, drinking party tomorrow. Taking off work, but going to the drinking party. Life is good. It's not formal. I'm excited. Going to a club after that. It should be good times. If it's not, something went terribly wrong.

I brought a banana to class today.
"This is my banana."
Good times. It was a stuffed banana, so it's not so dangerous. A real banana may have been eaten. Stolen and eaten. As it was, my banana was just felt up. Many times.

I hope that above statement is used against me somehow. Feeling up bananas is just something that one shouldn't do. Although I didn't do it. I was just the catalyst. Well, the bringer of the catalyst. I maybe should have brought the apple or strawberry, but my banana just fit into my pencil case so much better.

Went to the gym today. Went to fighting. Did it. Enjoyed myself. I think I've seriously gained weight over the last week...or two. I need to not do that anymore. I'm so close to my goal. I don't want to lose now. I got my friend to promise to punch me if I don't go to the gym everyday this week...except possibly Friday and Saturday (it's closed on Saturday). I want to get stronger. I do. And for that to happen, I need to gym. Hard. Often.

...all night? No. Not all night. They do close...eventually...

I bought a rather gay belt. It's much more ... sparkly in real life. Much more. It was also on sale. Good times.

Also, the bag states:
TO BE ONSELF, ONE MUST
USE THEIR OWN IMAGINATION.
ONE MUST NEVER FORGET TO
STRIVE TO BETTER ONESELF.
THIS KIND OF WOMAN
I WANT TO BECOME.

...and I do. I want to be awesome...and better...at stuff...all kinds of stuff...

Baseball in the PM. Should be good. Should be. Unless it rains and gets really cold...like it's supposed to...

I didn't go to the gym today either. I really have to start going again. I like it. I know I do. Tomorrow is fighting, so hopefully that'll be enough to motivate me to go.

Totally just heard my first bit of thunder here in Sendai.

Awesome!!

...although that pretty much puts my plan to walk school tomorrow to rest. It'll probably be raining then...oh well. We'll see what tomorrow brings when it gets here.

I'm losing some of my vigor to do things. Like go to the gym, or draw. I'm becoming lazy, and that ain't cool. Not cool at all.

haha, I spent half of today figuring out a way to not-so-unhealthily starve myself. I came up with a good plan. It'll save me moneys too. Pretty sure that if I did it, it'd only last 3 days at most. I like food way too much for my good.

Had elementary school today. It wasn't as bad as I had feared it would be.

It's been raining for the last 2 days and will supposedly rain for the next 2. Kinda sucks. Especially since I have no good rain shoes.

Going to baseball this Saturday with some teachers. Should be fun!

I disgusted myself yesterday...with myself. Bad times.
Which is creating more stress that I put on myself for no reason. Also bad times.

...I need to get to the gym to work out my stress. I need to look into some actual boxing classes. Not that I have the money for it. I've been buying too many clothes and wine lately. Nothing for a bit, though. That's what happens when you run low on money. I feel bad 'cause I should be able to save more. I would like to buy a pair of shorts to go out in. That's the other thing. Work clothes - not so much bought. Going out clothes - pretty much it. I can't really wear the going out clothes to work...it's not that they are 'sexy,' so much as they are too casual...and not appropriate at all for work. Oh well. I have enough clothes for work. Going out - not so much. Which is why I want a pair of shorts. Maybe I can get some shortly. And no more wine. I don't need it. I just want it.

I actually find myself rather pathetic.

So, some guy I haven't talked to in months called me today.
It was a little strange.
I honestly don't get men...
At all.
I wish people'd be more honest. It may be painful, but it's better in the end. It really is.

I had a really vivid lesbian sex dream last night.
It was intense.
And weird.

Went to a park and played with children and a few adults. Good times. Good times, indeed.

Haha, got dizzy walking to the bus stop today. Totally took the day off. Now I can work on the comic and take it easy. Passing out in class isn't a good idea...despite it being a secret goal of mine for a few weeks...

Next week will be extra bad. I have elementary school almost every day. And plans almost everyday as well.

On another note, I need to get into the gym. I haven't been all week...and shalnt go today...and not just 'cause I got dizzy this morning. The gym is closed. It's the 20th.

On another another note, payday is tomorrow. That's a good thing. I got 84¥ on me. Whoo! Buying new clothes has taken me moneys. Gotta send home another box of overly large clothes home. I hope that my cousins can wear them or use them...or that someone can. Gonna bust out my summer clothes soon. Then we'll see how many of those actually fit...and see if my boxing will be more. My mailing? I'm not sure which noun is more appropriate to turn into a verb for this. Since I'm not using appropriate words, either way should be fine. Pick your favorite and go with it.

Saw 'The Others' today. It wasn't as good as I had hoped, but not too bad. It wasn't a horror at all. That is what it's classified as - horror?

Also saw 'The Memory Keeper's Daughter.' It was good. Definitely a good mellow-mood movie. The book, as usual, was better.

Now, I'm going to take a shower, then do my nails. Why? Because I can...and 'cause I need to take a shower. It's gotten cold again, so it'll be a hot shower then slightly frozen appendages...which always stinks (and why the gym is gone to very often in winter...I don't like freezing things off).

Wanna know one thing that I do miss about home?

The bookstores.
Going in and being surrounded by all those words and thoughts and worlds and whatnot.
Also, I just found out that my favorite author has released 2 new books. I'm excited. Although one is part of a trilogy of which I've read none...so I'm excited doubly...TRIPLY!!

...on a side note, I love the bookstores here in Japan as well...but the books are a bit harder to read.
...and slightly gayer (a Chemistry book where every element had a hot anime chick to personalize it...yeah...I saw it. I didn't buy it, but I should have. For science.)

I went to this site here, and put in my digits. Turns out, by their standards, I'm at my ideal weight. In fact, if I lose 1 more kilo, I'd be underweight. I cannot believe that. I simply cannot. This 'rotund' and yet ideal? I think that they lie. I will celebrate this in a manner befitting such an event...weight training and hot classes...and fighting! TO THE GYM!! Tomorrow. No gyming today. None. I laid about all day. It was good. Very good. Except not. I was sick to my stomach...too much cheap wine last night. Too much. Gotta stop the drinking...but it's a coping mechanism. I'M COPING WITH SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT, BUT I AM. Although I do need to cut it out. I don't want a wine belly.

Now, it's ideal, but is it healthy? I need to check to see how much body fat I got...in 2 weeks. MONTH END HEALTH CHECK!!

...I may need new hobbies. Not that I've been doing any of my hobbies lately...except for gyming and Zelda-ing. In Japan, listening to music counts as a hobby. Was it always like that? even in non-mecha countries?

If hopes were fishes...

If only the detail was a scorpion like I originally thought it was.... These shoes'd be awesome then. AWESOME.

On an unrelated note, my sock has a giant hole in it. GIANT. 3 holes. GIANT ONES.

KANCHO!!

On Tuesday, I went to elementary school.
This is a conversation that took place...

S (Student - male): Sherry, I heard you have a boyfriend.
M (Me...Sherry): No, I have no boyfriend.
S: But I heard you did...
M: No. I don't.
S: ...but, you do.
M: No. No, I don't.
S: Well, if you 'dieted,' you'd get one.
M: Right now I'm taking fighting. Wanna go?
S: ...no...that's scary. But, if you 'dieted,' you'd get a boyfriend.
M: ...ok.
S: Bye!
M: See ya later, kid.

hoho, kids are so cute...and I got told by a 12 year old to lose weight. That's just pathetic.

Yesterday.
Fighting.
Jump kick.
AWESOME!!

I've gotten so used to being more than one person that I don't know who I really am anymore. Is that bad? I like to think of it as a coping mechanism and a way to survive in a world where I am expected to be more than one thing.

Had a box of beans for breakfast again. Good times. Good times.

The gym was amazing today! It is actually great to be back! I think the secret is classes. Just going to work out isn't so much fun if there's no friends around. Well, that and not being on the first days of a period also help. Those are the worst. But, now that is almost over and I'm enjoying the gym. It made me feel pretty good about myself and I sweated like a pig...well, like a pig would probably sweat if pigs did indeed sweat.

Also, I got invited to go to a baseball game with some coworkers! That should be AWESOME! Whoo!!! I'm so excited!! Got asked by the hot lunch man. Score.

Think I'm going to walk to school tomorrow. That should be fun. I have elementary school, so I'm allowed to be later than normal. Quite a bit later. Whoo!! Gonna walk to school and probably not be awesome there!

Today is photo-heavy

So, needless to say, this post goes out to Krisbones. I expect full attention when he returns to the land of the internet.

Today, I went for a walk. Why? Because the weather is beautiful...and the gym is closed...mostly that second. Also, I wanted to check out the northside of my southside area. Got it? Good.


That's the closest train line...the north side of it and some apartments. The closest train station is about a 30 minute walk away from my apartment. That's a pretty leisurely walk, mind.


The circus is in town! For real. The bendy-people circus.


More north side.


Even more north side.


Organic foods store. At least I think. I didn't go. It was on the opposite side of the road...


A Rastafarian-like store. I got a bracelet and ring there (photos later).


In case you were wondering. Tokyo is pretty far...


Safety first, kids. Safety for you.


The wall says SEX and something else that I couldn't make out.


3 "dresses" I bought. Only one is long enough/non-see-thru enough to be a dress. That white one is really weird...


The bag of goods from the Rastafarian-like store.


The ring and bracelet. Don't mind the burn on my hand from cooking. I admit that I cooked a little too intoxicated...and got burned twice doing it. Live and learn.

On a final note, I met a Japanese man who speaks with a Jamaican accent. Good times. Good times.

My period started today.
I'M SO HAPPY!

I really need to stop going to that sekku-hara club. But a promise is a promise...and free entry is free entry.

Also, if you're in what is basically the basement of the volcano, how come the milk doesn't spoil? I mean, it should right? Granted, you don't burn up either, but I'd think the milk'd be a bit more sensitive to lava pits...

...I'm glad that my first post in May has to do with an old video game and a chicken kidnapping. Life is good.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
At the beginning part (when you're a kid), Marron gives you an egg which turns into a chicken overnight, right? Then you sneak in and find the princess. She gives you a letter. But you lose the chicken. What happens to the chicken? Does she take it and start a chicken farm? Is it released into the wild? If Link (or as I've named him this time around: Ramen) were a true hero, wouldn't he give the chicken back to Marron? I mean, that egg was important to her...and what does Ramen do the first chance he gets? Give up the chicken for a woman with money. I don't know about you, but I think Ramen should feel at least a little bad about it. Granted, saving the world of a reign of terror from a slightly green guy with a huge honker may be more important to most, but what happens to that chicken? That's what I want to know. I can see the letter being kept by that guard guy (it's for him after all), and the masks obviously go to the people who buy them, but the chicken. That's where the mystery is.

Sorry. I just love this movie. This is probably my favorite 'joke' in the movie. I do generally laugh out loud when I see it.

Life. Does it get more difficult because the more we age the more problems we face? Or is it because we make it more difficult?

I took my blood pressure today at the gym. Pre-exercise was 98/65 with a heart-rate of 78. "Protein and salt is best to bring up your BP" that explains why I've been wanting meat lately. A lot of it. More than I should be eating. Tons of meat. Piles of it.
After workout was 121/85 with a heart-rate of 105 (about 1-2 minutes after finishing). Seems I should be okay. Just meat-i-fied. I think I'm going to go buy meat. Except I'm not. I'm going to cook tofu and garlic and pasta and onions...and be FAT. Alone and fat. Maybe try on an outfit for Saturday. Maybe just be fat.

Happy Showa Day!

HAPPY SHOWA DAY!! Where we celebrate...showa? The era in Japanese history? I think...but I have no idea. I just have off work and had naan for breakfast. That's all I know.

NAAAAAAN!!!

Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.
Mary Tyler Moore

haha, oh yeah!

When I have too much free time, I think too much.
That is very bad. Very very bad.
I don't like it.
I need even MORE hobbies. Or to not have a weekday off...Exercising for 4 hours doesn't seem like a good idea. It's either that or eat...Plying video games didn't seem to do it. Movies aren't interesting to me now...it sucks. Effe me.

"You can't stop being who you are because of fear, right?"

Yeah, a good lesson for all.

For Krisbobes. The Robot Story...

Night fell, but you could hardly tell. The smoke that always filled the air effectively kept the differences between day and night hidden, but the clocks still worked. They chimed once at the start of the day, twice for midday, and three times for the start of the sleeping hours. Ever since the robots took over, the day – life - had been much more organized. The humans had to make some adjustments but nothing too bad. Now they were masks to make the air breathable and they wore suits to protect them from the atmosphere that they found so poisonous. They slept in barrack-like buildings. In order to maintain their usefulness, the humans worked the day away. The robots had produced the pill that kept them alive. It gave them the energy for the work. If they refused to work, the robots refused them the pill. Everything equal – work for food, food for work. Being lazy was no longer a human’s prerogative. The robots were nice enough. But, sometimes it’s difficult for Masters to always be nice to the servants. The humans had tried to revolt against the robots a few times. All times the robots had to put it down. They had tried to be gentle, but humans rarely understood such things. With humans, it was either their way or no way – and the humans seldom had one way that they wanted it. If the robots gave into one demand, there would be hundreds of others to give into. It was annoying and a waste of time. After the first attempted revolt, the robots learned the way to deal with the humans. Force was to be used, usually brute. The humans were merely flesh and blood, but the robots were metal and electricity. They clearly had the advantage, and they used it to destructive ends. If the humans saw reason, then the robots would not have had to resort to force. They didn’t, they never do. Humans live too much in the now, and don’t think about the future. The robots do though. They have a plan. The humans wouldn’t be able to see the worth of the plan so the robots don’t share it. It’s too long term for the humans. The humans live for what used to be 50 years and then expire, but the robots live on, generation after generation after generation. Long term to a human is a robot’s short term. There is a beauty to that that humans will never be able to comprehend. But, there is also something beautiful in enjoying things for a short while that robots will never be able to understand. Both are missing some form of beauty in their lives, but neither can see it.
The day started out like any other. The chime to start the day rung out, the humans stirred in their bunks. But something was different – the humans didn’t rise. They merely remained laying down as if asleep. The robots noticed this almost immediately. Late risers were watched. A voice over the intercom system gave them a warning. They would either rise or face the consequences. They did not rise. The robots knew that the humans were alive – their vitals were checked constantly. Perhaps this was another of their revolts. Hopefully this one would be taken care of without bloodshed. The robots gave the humans one minute to rise before actions were taken. The humans didn’t move. The robots sent a small electric current to wake the humans up and punish them. Not a single one moved although a few cried out in shock and pain. A stronger one was sent – a few humans died. A stronger one was sent, and then a stronger one. They still didn’t move except in pain. The number of dead slowly increased. The robots stopped sending the electricity. They didn’t want to kill their workers. The robots let them lay there. The humans became confused. The robots watched and waited. Slowly the humans who had lived got up and looked around at the others. They had thought they had won. They smiled behind their masks. They lazed the day away. It came time for sleep. Most had lost most of their energy and fell asleep with no problem. The next morning the chime rang out again. The humans did not rise; they had all died in the night.

-----

I'm leaving the title typo 'cause it's a good one.

Today's workout was a fail. Saw HotGym, he was working out...practicing karate/fighting. He really is an awesome guy. Totally have no shot with him. Which I know, but it needs constant reminding.

I'm going to start posting more of my writing...1 page story go times!!

We broke up how many months ago? I honestly can’t remember. I barely remember that time. After we did, I went through hell. That’s all I can remember.
I went out drinking almost every night.
I met men who weren’t you.
I told myself they were better than you.
I got the numbers of a couple of the basketball players of the local team.
I didn’t do anything with them that I wouldn’t have done with you if you had said something.
I had been willing to do anything for you.
Anything.
All you had to do was ask.
You asked for other things - the things that obviously didn’t matter. I agreed to all that you wanted. Lose weight? Ok. Wear makeup? Ok. Dress better? Ok. Speak more slowly? Ok. Don’t ask? Ok.
All I wanted – Don’t lie? No.
Granted, for months I had thought about breaking up with you, but I thought that I was just scared.
Scared of commitment.
Scared of ruining something because of fear.
Scared of being hurt.
Scared of pain.
You broke me. Did you know that? You broke me and now I’m not sure I can be fixed. Not that it’s a bad thing.
I got jewelry.
I got memories.
I got bruises.
I got experience.
Now I know what to look for – the dead eyes, the lack of attention, the fact that someone who is supposed to be going out with me doesn’t even remember the simple things about me. Did you ever listen to me?
Now I know what to expect – not much, the lateness, the inability to make time, the always being busy. Being busy going out with other people. I was yours, and you were everybody’s. Hardly fair, but we were young. You more so than I. You were a child. A brat, really. I was dumb. That’s your type, right? A person who’s too dumb to know what’s really going on. I should have known. The signs were there. The scratches on your back. The fact you never called back. The inattention. The late nights. The lack of money. The bad sex. The ill temper. The condom in your back pocket. Was it for me?
I’m glad we broke up. I think it was best for both of us.
I lay you down to rest, I pray the Gods your soul to rate. If you lie before I wake, I pray the Gods your balls to take.
You didn’t need me.
I don’t need you.
Life taught me a good lesson.
Did it you?
When will it, I wonder.
How many more lessons do we have to learn?
When do we become adults? Maybe next time we meet, I hope we’ll both have figured that one out.

--------

For more, check out this handy link right here! Yes, that link should really work. If it doesn't...sorry.

I think something in me clicked back into place this weekend. Things happened (both which can be seen as good or bad depending on your point of view) and those things I think jolted my brain back to where it should be. A good long while ago something thing happened and that kinda broke me. I thought I fixed it, but it was like putting a band-aide over a seeping knife wound. Then, something else happened that made me feel as if the band-aide was working. But then I realized that I hadn’t fixed my problem, that in fact, it was a much worse problem than I thought and spent the next few months trying to figure myself out, trying many different things to ‘fix’ the problem. This weekend however, I think it finally got the sutures it needed to be okay. I actually feel much more relaxed than I have in months. I’m not sure if this will actually be the thing that makes it all better (well, as better as things can get) or not, but I do feel a lot better than I have in a good while.
Also, I wonder if just forgetting is a good enough defense mechanism. It’s a band-aide cure, but I wonder if it’s a good enough one. I think it has its time and place. I truly do.

Today I got to talk/joke with the students a bit. That put me in a good mood.
Went to the gym. Exercised for about 2 hours. It was good. Who would have thought that I'd get to the point where my warm-up is a 30 minute jog/run? I surely didn't! But, that was my warm-up today. Afterward, some weight training and walking for about 45 minutes. It was good. Good times indeed.

I awoke at about 5:56 this morning with a great fear in my heart. "Crap, I've got to go to work soon..." and then I remembered today is Saturday. I was at once happy, excited, and a little exasperated with myself. It's good that it's the weekend.

I'm writing this without a shirt on. I do believe this is the first time I've posted in such a fashion.

Also, dudes, seriously. Do it. It's worse to string them along.

I gymed for about 2 straight hours (that's all exercise time, not changing and showering and whatnot). It was great! I had a nice conversation with HotGym as well. That was nice. He really is a nice, interesting guy. I'm glad that I have this chance to get to know him. Now I'm drinking wine trying to figure out if I want to watch a movie or read a book or draw a picture....although I will be going to bed once this glass is finished.

The gym was amazing AGAIN! Why did I ever NOT want to go??
Saw Hot Gym. He complimented me on my "sugoi sheeppu appu" (amazing shape up) again. I appreciate it. I do. Time to shape up more!!

Emotionally, I feel like shit. I'm not sure why. I'm sure there's more than one reason, but I'm not sure of any of them.

Physically, I'm okay. Could be loads better, but could be loads worse.

Spiritually...no matter.

That's the update of the week. Enjoy!

DON'T JUDGE ME!!

haha, got almost to the front doors of the gym and then turned around and left. What can I say - today is just not a day for gyming. Period started. I didn't want to bleed all over my gym clothes at an inopportune time (which would be anytime). Also, the period is about 6 days early. That's weird...

Another haha, on the second day of my new eating regime and already I feel like cheating. I have that all or nothing kind of self-discipline kind of gal. It kinda sucks...but what you gonna do. Either I overeat something, or never eat it at all.

On a side note, kinda want to try Valium. Who here has? How was it? Just came up in a movie I'm watching. Seems like it could be a good thing to try once...

...is it bad that I organize my entire day around the gym? Like when I wake up to be able to get to class, when I eat so I don't have to worry about the gym, and whatnot. That may be rather pathetic. I can't decide yet.

What is pathetic is that I'm watching The Cheetah Girls Movie 3 for the second time tonight...that's all kind of wrong. All kinds.

Oh
My
God.

Today's fighting was so A•MAZE•ING. It was so great!!


On a side note, I gained almost 2 kilos BUT lost almost 2 kilos of fat. It's better than I had thought when I first learned that I had gained weight. Yeah!

I believe in Karma.
What you give, you get.
Do you?

Is there such a thing as being too hot?

A friend of mine brought this to my attention. She proposed that it is possible to be too hot, and thus discouraging to the opposite sex. But, is it true? Can a person be too hot to go out with, but not too hot to get catcalled? If so, where is that line?

Dude, I didn't even drink and I already am starting to feel the guilt. Well, I did have a glass of wine, but was amazingly sober the entire time. But, it is 2.30 in the morning. What was that was said: Nothing good happens after 1 AM. Perhaps that is true.

I went to a friends house to make gyoza. It was good. We had udon, gyoza, and rice. There were strawberries for dessert. Those were AMAZING! We also made cheese.

Nothing to feel guilty over other than overeating...perhaps that is it. Calorie guilt.

How come when you go out the next day you feel guilty? I do at least. Even when I know I have NOTHING to feel guilty over...it kinda sucks.

The gym was pretty good today. Didn't give it as much as I should have, but that's how the world works. Oh well.
Leavers assembly and party tomorrow. Should be nerveracking since I'm giving a speech.

Also, on a strange note: I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to date me or do the dirty with me. And yet, there are. People need higher standards. This means you. Stop that.

Really now? Maybe I should start a club at school: "Grumpy Kids for the Betterment of the World."

One of the teachers has taken to calling me a bunny.

Because of my carrots.

So, if I bring in 2 tomorrow, I wonder how that'll be?


....one said that perhaps I was a horse instead.
Of, gotta love bad carrot jokes.

I'm going out.
Drinks and dancing.
GO TIME!!!


...in about an hour...or two...

word.

失恋！

マザーファッカー！

I think I should get a smaller camera so I can take more pictures. I like my camera, but it's HUGE and bulky and that means less picture taking.

My (counter)desk and chair came today.
I like them. Totally spent hours putting them together.


And that's my mirror on the counter. Yeah, it's totally going to be moved to the other side of the room...eventually.

Today was a holiday.
All I did, you ask?
I went to the gym.
Which was nice, but that's seriously all.

eMail me for details!

Yesterday was an eventful day. Here's a mostly undetailed run down of the major events:
There was an event!
St. Baldrick's Charity Event at SHAFT.
The only St. Baldrick's event in Japan.
Went to that (where apparently one person thought I was the hottest girl in the room).
In awesome boots (the reason for above parenthesis).
Tried to talk to the cute bartender who remembers me.
Went to a bar.
Went to another bar.
Sexual harassment.
Back to SHAFT.
Dancing.
Drinking.
Phone number given.
Went to Bar, Isn't It?
Danc...manhandling.
Met up with an old friend.
Left.
Went to eat.
Took first subway home.


This may or may not be related. I'll leave it up to other people who are more intelligent than I do decide.

I had gone to the gym with the express purpose of not trying that hard and not staying long so I could come home to my bad wine (I'm drinking some now; it's not that great). But, then Hot Gym came over and spoke to me. For those just joining us on this boring quest (hi guys!), Hot Gym is the code name for the fellow at the gym whom I like. He's hot. And works at the gym. AND teaches only hot classes (I'm not kidding on this point either). Hence Hot Gym (it originally came from the Operation I was plotting to talk to him The Operation name was made by my friend. Part 2 is After-workout Sauna...which may never come to fruition since Operation Hot Gym is at a stalemate). ANYWAY, Hot Gym came over and personally invited me to the 2 classes he was teaching special that night. He said, "If you have the energy, please come." I went. Oh yes, I went. The classes were good. Very hot. But, WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH THIS? The more I try to give him up, the more he pushes/makes efforts to talk to me. The more I'm in to him, the more he pulls away.

I think I need more wine.

On a side note, that means that I spent 3.5/4 hours at the gym. If I don't get healthy after this stuff, I'll be amazed. And bewildered. Of course, coming home and drinking is NOT helping...but I love the wines. The red ones. They take my moneys.

On a completely unrelated side note, yesterday I bought a desk, a chair, and a mirror. If I spent over 3 man (30,000 yen), then I'd get free delivery. The desk and chair were almost there, so I got a mirror, too...since I wanted one anyway. And by wanted, I mean I should have, but I don't necessarily want to be able to see all my body. And by desk, I mean counter that I'm going to use as a desk so I can FINALLY work on my arts well. It's been slow going 'cause this sit-down-desk makes me lazy. I also go the last counter (score!). And they'll all be here on the 23rd between the hours of 6 and 8 in the PM.

Also, found out that the people who work at the gym can't date the people who go to the gym. It's against the rules. Does that mean that Hot Gym's out? Or does that mean that I get to have a secret relationship if he gets the balls?

I learned this last night...from my friend whose friend dated a trainer on the DL...this is also the friend who kept encouraging me to go for him. And she tells me this NOW. I kinda feel like a jerk for probably making work difficult for this fellow. Oh well. I'm good at keeping secrets

Something I noticed about 3 seconds ago about my students:
What makes them laugh with embarrassment when they ask/say it is rather different.
1st years: "How old are you?" then embarrassment and/or giggling.
2nd years: "Vagina." then usually giggling (the boys giggle, too)
3rd years: "Did you masturbate last night?" then giggling...and anticipation for answer.
Do we see where puberty leads? Do we? Do we really now?

You know, I'm kinda happy that kid came to my door all those days ago. It means that now whenever in movies and TV there's a whore/prostitute who tries to sell themselves for about $50, I automatically get first dibs on them being me. I did it last night to Watchmen and it was nice. No more fighting for first whore dibs. None at all.

Also, the period has started, but so far it's just a crap lot of pain and not much blood. I guess it needs to get done ripping all my insides out before the blood comes on too strong. You know, this used to be done while I was sleeping. I liked that way better. Damn you growing older, damn you! Oh well, gonna go exercise and hopefully relieve some of that pain that way.

I just left the gym, and Hot Gym came out, we exchanged our お疲れ様s. Then he looked at the counter girl and I'm pretty sure they shared a conspiratorial look and then he looked back at me. WTF DOES THAT MEAN!?! I had mostly given up and had hoped for friendship at best, but does this mean I have a shot?! Does it mean I have less than a shot...in hell? Damn ball-less Japanese men...not that Ive expressed much courage either.
But seriously, I need to know. I think Impala make me working on making a move, but I can't be sure on that front either. All I do know is that 1) I need sound dating advice from non-crazy people (ie: not me), and 2) I just want my period to go ahead and start. It's been dicking around all day. It's irritating me...and it's about a day late. Dicking around AND being late ain't cool, kids.

As for the dating advice: if I were to say, see a movie or go out to dinner with Impala, that doesn't mean that we are dating, right? We could just be two good friends enjoying my coupons and food together, correct? At least if I play it right by one country's rules, I won't feel like much of a jack-ass...much of one. I'm counting on you Krisbones. It's all on you. Maybe I should post it to the forums to get more advice since I'm totally out of my league of knowledge...

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday!!! This week has been unexpectedly long.
And, the snow has at least half turned into rivers. Today will be my first trek to the gym in a long while (Monday night...). Let's see how the gym treats me.

And, I have ¥427 (or there about) to last me 'til payday next Friday. I should have enough food to last me. It's not that long, really. Just about 8 days. This should be easy. GO ME!!!

Also, the teacher I don't understand is taking all my newly-found free periods ;___; I don't appreciate that, but I guess I should earn my pay.

It snowed quite a bit yesterday and today. About half way up my leg in parts. Not terribly much, but still quite a bit when you consider the fact that almost everyone I talked to said that the snow usually doesn't stick...especially around my school. Pictures to come. They are in my inbox...I've yet to download them though...

Also, been mailing Impala. We'll see where that leads. Probably nowhere, but there's mailings.

Yesterday was graduation. I was really nice! I almost cried. Didn't, but almost did. Had a lot of pictures taken. I'm going to miss those guys!

After that, starting at about 7, was the drinking party for the graduation.

...drinks, talking, hurt my thumb. I'm too tired to give details. Those are all the important ones. Oh, and I got a lift home in a '59 Impala. Nice.

On Thursday, I bought a carrot before work, so I had no other choice than to bring said carrot to work.

My coworkers thought that was weird.
They didn't understand why I had a carrot at work.
...when I wasn't using it in class.

Carrot haters?


Carrot in bag.


Carrot in question.


Carrot in bag on desk.

The dialogue in this story has been translated for ease of understanding...

The day was Tuesday.
I left school early by an hour because I wanted to go to the gym before heading over to my friend's boyfriend's bar.
I went to the drug store (and got laundry detergent and soup), and to the convenience store (got a sandwich and yogurt), and then went home. I got in and took off my jacket when someone rang my doorbell. So, I went to the door, as I'm apt to do, and looked through the peephole. Standing there was a short fellow in a black jersey (workout outfit...the seemingly plastic kind that makes that strange noise when it rubs against itself). I opened it up thinking perhaps it was mail! a package! Turns out it was a kid. Maybe a second or third year middle schooler here (so, 8th or 9th grade). He was looking in his wallet. He looked up at me, looked at his wallet, stuttered for a bit then got out "I'm looking for my friend's house." I looked at him blankly - obviously he was mistaken. Before I could say anything he looked at me and said, "I've made a mistake, sorry." I said it was okay and closed the door. About 15 seconds later another ring at my door. I went back, looked through the peephole, same kid was there. I opened the door up and he asked "Where is ****** 2-chome?" (location hidden to protect myself <3 ). I said, "Over there, I think, but I don't know." He then looked around a bit, then asked what chome this was. I responded with one. He looked around a bit (he's Japanese, it's what they do), and then said that he was going to find his friend's house. I said be careful. He took about 3 steps then turned around and came back to my door, took out his wallet and examined it. Then said: "Will you have sex with me for ¥5000?" I stared at him blankly, and then he got a little downtrodden, and asked if it was a no. I said that it was and he left and I closed my door.

Thank you Japan. Thank you. I got propositioned for sexual favors from a 14 year old at my own front door. I'm sure he followed me from the drug store where the most sexual thing I bought was laundry detergent (it does wash me knickers after all).

Pants size wise, I'm 33.3% of the person I once was.

If that doesn't make me TRDL/R3 approved, I don't know what will.

...other than being HAWT.

On a very different note, I bought what appears to be oranges. I am excited about this! Tomorrow will be a good fruit breakfast. A very good one indeed.

The problem with going to the gym almost everyday?
Laundry...every 2 days. I don't like doing laundry. But now I have A LOT more clean clothes.

3s thrown for Thom. You know who you are. Assuming you even read this. Which, if you don't, you missed out on 3s being thrown...but you won't know that.

My entire body hurts. Exercise was good today.

That brush no work. Need different one. It was kinda fun to use though...

Went shopping the first half of the day. The second half will be spent at the gym and home. Bought a body brush that may or may not be useful. I've yet to try it, so I don't know. I doubt it, but it's all I could find and decided to take a chance. Almost bought a really gay shirt, but it was broken (as the cashier figured out for me...and all the rest were too...), so I just stuck with the pants which may be too small...but will be the right size (one way or another! You hear that pants???!?!? You'll fit me!). Also bought a kanji game. It looks supremely gay and slightly annoying. It should be fun. It seems you must fight monsters by putting in the kanji's reading. I'm going to lose bad, but that's neither here nor there.

...apparently it's a "Cellulite Massager." Maybe it'll be fine. I didn't actually look at what they called it in the store...maybe all will be fine.

Operation Hot Gym had a few hick-ups, but one of the goals was achieved.
Operation After-Workout Sauna to commence. It's a counter attack, so the ball isn't in my court. We'll see how this progresses. If it does.

Dang it. Operation Hot Gym failed again. It's like the Normandy Invasion without Normandy. It's hard to put your operation into motion without the thing you are operating against. Suck ass. Oh well. Tomorrow. D-Day. Again.

Also. I'll let you figure out if it's related or not.

Q: Do I have the balls enough to do what I got to do?

I think about the past. The way things used to be. All the things I could have become. All the things I couldn’t. The things I knew. The things I didn’t. Meeting them again brought back the memories. All the smiles, the mistakes, the possibilities, the embarrassments, the tears, the confused feelings, the mistaken thoughts, the regrets. All came rushing back just seeing their faces, hearing their voices.
I smile. They are happy to see me. All but him. He’s unfeeling. Does he notice I’ve changed? Does he care? He’s moved on. Moved up. On to better things. On to better people.
I think of the past. He used me make my heart beat faster than is probably safe. He used to be in my dreams. He used to make me feel alive when he danced with me.
He’s talking to a cute girl in a short skirt. I never had a chance. I knew that. I know that. But it changes nothing. I take a sip of my drink. The taste does nothing to quench either my thirst or the memories.
I drink more.
And more.
It takes me over. I dance with my girlfriends. We feel the beat in our hearts. We feel it in out chests. It moves our feet. Our hands. Our hips. I dance with some random guy. It doesn’t matter who he is. It won’t last past a dance. We part. I go to the bathroom. I’m thirsty. I drink water from the tap. It does nothing to quench my thirst. The memories don’t come back. The drink is taking care of those. A girl comes in. She says my dancing is sex. I smile and laugh it off. The memories come back. He’s too cool for me. Too amazing. Too out of reach. Too late.
I go back outside. My friends find me. We dance some more. He’s at the front. DJing. A DJ. I never did stand a chance. I dance. We dance. He doesn’t notice me. I dance as well as I can for him. He doesn’t see me. He lights a cigarette. He lets the smoke out of his lungs. I dance and watch. He doesn’t need me.
I close my eyes and dance. I lose myself in the music. The beat drives away memories. Drives away any inhibitions I had. I dance for hours. I go to the bathroom again. More water from the tap. I look at myself in the mirror. I know I’m not the best, but I’m still looking good. My hair’s a mess. I’ve been dancing for hours now. It can’t be helped. I smooth out the rough parts a bit. Another girl comes in. I met her outside. She’s a bartender at a bar close by. She says that I look sexy. Nice back. My shirt exposes that part of me. No chest, just back. You can see that freckle I forget I have. I smile and go outside again.
A guy comes over. Says he’s seen me here before. I smile. He has no shirt on. He says he’s a bartender here and he’s noticed me before. I laugh and ask why. The bartender says I should know why. I laugh again and his friends call him. The bartender leaves, I dance.
The night is winding down. I go back to the bathroom. Free water. It’s not that tasty, but it’s free. I leave. His friend sees me. He calls me over. I go. Nothing to lose. Nothing at all. The guy I like doesn’t like me. The one I liked is probably getting laid right now.
His friend tells me to kiss another guy. I do. A kiss. It means nothing. I kissed my previous crush many times. It meant nothing. Now we can’t even talk. His friend tells me to kiss another guy. I do. The bartender, too.
They laugh and joke. I joke along with them. It’s a nice distraction.
It’s time to leave. I go to the elevator. The bartender comes with me. We make out in the elevator.
It gets to the bottom floor. We don’t stop. Someone calls the elevator. We stop. We part.
I walk home in the freezing cold. I’m tired and losing feeling in my legs. I make it home. I fall asleep. The memories don’t stop.

I read a book yesterday.
"The Magic Finger" by Roland Dahl.
That's right. I read a 20-some odd page book. And I'm proud of it.
It wasn't as entertaining as I'd hoped. Not bad, but not too awesome.
As you can tell, yesterday I had few classes.
Today I have none.
But, yesterday I talked to the hot gym teacher.
Yeah. Go me.
Now to just grow a pair and be a man.
Figuratively. I don't think he's into that kinda stuff. And I can't actually just grow a pair. It's not possible. I don't think. As a super-power, you must admit that would suck.
Also, my dear dear friend Candi sent me some info about skin care, and I'm going to be starting that. As soon as I find that darned body brush thing. It's yet to be found for me. Hello Kitty condoms, check. Round bath brush, nowhere in sight.
Thank you for that Japan.

Also, weird spacing 'cause I can. There's really no reason for it.
And, wrote one more 1-page story and a few lines of my story yesterday. Should work more on those more often.

I like food. Too much, me thinks. Spent ¥355 on my dinner from a convenience store. It was good, but not the best for health. But it was good. Darn good. Way too many calories, however. Drat.
Anyway, going to go to the gym in a few minutes. It should be good. Gots ta get in shape and shape up, or whatever they say here. Let's get sexybody. That sounds like what they'd say here. There's no gym here on Saturday. That is a saddening fact. A rather saddening one.
Well, better go. Gonna go pre-exercise before I hit up my class. Gotta work on my back muscles today. And abs. And legs. And everywhere, actually.

GO TIME!

Went to the gym.
Exercised.
Talked with the hot guy.
Came back home.
Doing laundry.
Drinking wine.
I can't tell if today was a good day or not.
I think it rocked!
Until the laundry.
And the indecisive feeling I have from talking to the hot guy.
Because he's hot.
Very.

Exercised for almost 3 hours today. I'm tired. But not quite ready to go to sleep. Probably will pass out in 3.33 minutes, but that is later. On a good note, I should be losing some weight from 3 hours of exercise. Or maybe just not be able to move tomorrow. I'm actually a little frightened that I've lost my weight too quickly, so my skin won't be taut around my midsection no matter how many various styles of, and intense number of crunches I do. Sucks, don't it. Optional surgery investigation time!!

I saw Avatar today. It was better than I thought. Sat in the front row though. 3D probably made it better than it would have been without. Seriously long movie though. My butt hurt by the end.

Also got a blackboard. A black whiteboard. It's nice. I can put goals on there...which I'm sure I'll forget all about later, but still have up there. I also put up my goals for this year on my wall near my desk. Most of those will be forgotten as well. Or at least not done. But I do want to do them, so we'll see how far I get on 'em.

Almost got to 600 calories burned today at the gym on the treadmill. Almost. I do believe it was 595 or 596. Almost there. So close.

But not.



Also, I'm retarded and hope that I can be retarded the good way tomorrow.

I got 2 to 3 bloody noses today. It stopped my workout plans. Bad nose. Bad. I'll be gyming tomorrow, so hopefully it won't be that bad. Although 2 days without a workout makes me feel sad.

On an unrelated note, a few teachers are trying to set me up with the student teacher at my school. We'll have fun seeing where that leads...other than to a nomikai (drinking party)

My pipes were 'turned off' or whatever again this morning. At least this apartment is advanced enough to not have the pipes freeze. This time I luckily knew what to do. I pushed that button, and the water came back on. It was great. I love that button < 3 I don't have to worry about me pipes freezing. Just catching a cold. That's it. And cold showers...

Large men frighten me. They do. And I'm not sure how to take that.

I've decided to throw out all my "fat" pants. It'll leave me with basically 3 pairs (one which needs sewing...), but that should work. I do laundry enough. And as soon as winter passes, I can wear skirts...unless they get too big too...

I need more sale season!!

Das büt.

You know, at this point it's not that it happened, it's that there's no explanation. That's all I want. Just a simple one...well, one that explains things...those are the best explanations...as the word states.

Don't you hate those parts in your life where if you go forward it's like walking out into a mine field, and staying isn't much better? I'm not sure if lately I've been wanting to stay where I am because it's safe, or because it's what I want. Moving forward would mean uncertainty and a high chance of falling flat on my face. But staying still is just like being in what others call denial. Sometimes you can't tell if you are in denial, or if you really are just happy where you are. Sometimes staying still is exactly what you need. But, when the time comes to move, can you do it? I've been thinking this point over in my head for a good while now. Forward is new and a little dangerous. Here is safe and a little stale. Which is better? Both have advantages and disadvantages - in equal measure no less. Well, that's not necessarily 100% true. If things go 'as planned,' moving forward is the better option, but if they don't, staying is the better option. Basically: Leap then look, or look then leap - which will be the better option this time?

I bought shoes.
2 pairs.
It cost about $231.
Damn my monstrously huge feet in this country.
Damn them.
One pair cost about $140.
That's the most expensive clothing item I own.
Those shoes better land me a job.
Or a foot fetishist.
Either.
But I'm hoping for that first option.
Although the pay may be better with the second one...

I got told that I've lost too much weight today. Maybe that's why I skipped the gym today. Well that and it was raining and cold...but I should have gone. I can still go. What the hell, I'm off to the gym guys!!

What if everything I've ever thought about myself is a lie? How is one supposed to act, if they aren't even sure about who they are?
There are a few things that it seems I've always thought about myself which may no longer be true. In fact, they may be almost the complete opposite of what I had thought. Is it natural to change that much? Has enough time passed where these changes aren't so unnatural, but rather a natural, slow evolution of self? I can surely hope so. It doesn't seem like a good thing to go from one extreme to another without time at least. Changing that quickly is never a good thing. Something happened and the next thing I knew, half of who and what I was changed. It happened in the blink of an eye, and, in retrospect, it wasn't too terrible for self evolution, but at the time it was hard figuring out who and what I was. But the slower changes - how do those affect self? Are the slower ones actually worse in a way than sudden change? The slower ones one might not even notice for a long time until something happens to shove it in their face. If you don't notice the change, might you end up turning into something that you don't even like without knowing it until it is way too late to change? I don't think my changes are anything like that, but I have noticed that I have changed. If it's for better or worse we'll see. I don't think it's for the worse, but who knows? It might end up biting me in the bum one day. All I do know is that I don't think I'd change anything...and not just because I've given up regretting.

Then again, something that I can't help but regret may creep up. And then I may end up eating most of my words.

成年の日おめでとう！！
Happy Coming of Age Day!!

For anyone turning 20, you'd be an adult today...in Japan. Go out in your kimono-ey best and have a bite to eat. But make someone else pay - it's your day!
Now, an assortment of my favorite random pictures taken from images.google.com while searching for 成年の日 (seinen no hi):


Showing off their tennis-ey youth!!


A Korean actor who used to be mega popular in Japan - I own his workout book...don't ask.


Some dude probably named Iminho in Romanized Japanese...


...I have no idea...

An unneeded update or a crappy announcement - take your pick

This bra makes my boobs look pretty good.

That's it. End of the update/announcement.

No pictures 'cause they don't look that good.

Period came 4 days early - what up with that?

Pictures withheld despite Krisbones' expectations. I hope he can forgive me this post...


Well, that at least should alleviate any worries my parents might have - still not pregnant, guys. No worries.

Sometimes you just need to work without pants on. You do. Maybe not all the time. Unless you live in somewhere really hot...like Okinawa or Hawaii. Even Brazil (but that would be too sexy, so pants back on).

On another note which has little to do with pants, I went snowboarding today. It was nice. I sucked. But, it was my first time, so 'shouganai,' as they say here.

I think the thermometer on my alarm clock is optimistic. It says it's 9C in here. I can see my breath, especially well when I yawn.

I didn't study. I fail at life...and studying.

I should study.
I want to watch a crappy animated movie.

Life is full of choices. I think since I'll be eating soon I'll go for the movie...then STUDY!!!!!! (hopefully...) I'm having rice and gyoza. Good times. Hand made gyoza. Boiled. Delicious and relatively good for you. The rice is rice. No way to make that fancy sounding. It's "Love at first sight" rice though. I'm not kidding. That's the brand name. That is one of the reasons I first bought it. The other is that it's relatively cheap. Not the cheapest (which won't taste too good...I have a system, yo), but not far from it.


Also, I've decided to attempt to start learning French. It may come in handy in the future (wink wink nudge nudge)